I will try to keep this as short as possible, just looking for some advice.
I have a 5.5 month old baby with e. We split a few months ago as he didn't want to live with me or the baby. Never wanted children or to get married (with me anyway).
He didnt want to give up his house. i told him it should end even before baby was born as I didn't want her growing up thinking that this sort of relationship was the norm.
He hung onto the relationship (control I think), I gave it a few months after she was born and the ended it as i couldnt take anymore. She was a very demanding baby. From the time I got up until the time he got to my house i couldn't put her down and I was exhausted. At the time he was staying at my house. After his pat leave, he would go to work, go to his house and relax after work, have a shower, his tea and then come to mine about 8/half 8 every evening. Meanwhile i will have been sat there all day every day unable to move for the baby, hadn't eaten, couldnt barely have the time to make a drink for myself. So by the time he got to mine i would be just exhausted. I would then have to find the time to wash and iron her clothes, clean up, have bath, walk the dog and have something to eat. there were time I wouldn't bath for a few days as I just didn't have the time. Obv by the time he came down she would be tired eough to sleep for an hour or two so it would be easy for him. It went on like this for about 2 months until enough was enough. I begged him to come earlier but he wouldn't and even said to be just because you can't have anything to eat doesn't mean I shouldn't either.
There was so much more crap than I could ever write here.
I am still getting no financial support from him. He went halves on things we have needed to buy like a few toys, baby swing moses basket and most of her clothes but that's it.
My main issues has come about Christmas. He wouldn't tell anyone for ages we had split but finally told his family about a month ago, I asked for this over and over as I was fed up of having to put on a face and act like everything was fine to everyone all the time. He asked me if I was still going to his parents and i said I didn't know but demanded that he was still taking the baby. In the end I agreed that i would accompany him in the morning with the baby and then leave to go to the cemetery to visit my mother's grave and then to my friends. He was meant to come back down in the evening.
There has been an isssue that I have had a problem with for a while now which is that his family keep kissing the baby. The one time his mother left lipstick all over her cheek, his reak dad has kissed her on the lips, and his step dad has kissed her on the mouth, well more like put his open mouth on hers when he was playing with her. Each time I have gone mad and asked him to ask them not to.... He would argue back and not support me and even said once that I was trying to imply something about his stepdad.
So before Christmas day on Christmas eve, I put a post on facebook, it consisted of a photo of the baby, a poem from her lightheartedly asking people not to do it, and then a link which had 13 reasons why a baby should not be kissed on the mouth, hands and even feet. He also said that he would tell them in person when we got there not to kiss the baby. His mother commented on the post, unelated to the subject.
As soon as we stepped into his parents, she grabbed her hand and kissed it. He said then that we saw a link online and didnt want people kissing the baby, she then said that babies have been kissed for hundreds of years and that she had seen the post and that the only thing to worry about is coldsores and that's basically from kssing on the lips and said that she only kisses her on head or cheek. (it was in such a way that sounded like she was going to continue to do it. About 20 minutes later, she came up to the baby and kissed her hand again and just walked off. Now in all the times she has seen her not once has she kissed her hand.
I left and later at my friends, decided that it would be a good idea for him not to come back down as i felt we would argue so I told him to leave it for Boxing Day. He came down and demanded an explanation, so I explained and said i felt my wishes had been disrespected, and bla bla bla and told him that from now the baby stays with me in my home until I get assurance that it won't happen again and that I feel it was a finder up at me in front of my face.
He's now told his mother that I feel she has done it deliberately and that they're only allowed to visit the baby at my house. He's told me that she's devastated and although thought my post was over the top she didn't realise??
I feel I should say something to her but what? I don't want things to be awkward for the baby's sake (no family on my side to speak of) but I don't want to back down on the matter either.
I also don't want him to take the baby without me as I don't trust her in his care for these reasons...
at 4 weeks old she ended up in a&E as she apprently rolled onto the floor at his house of his sofa (He had taken her to visit his parents and it was the first time I left her in his care. He was meant to bring her back to my house as she lives with me but he took her to his house after his parents house). I don't beliebe she rolled off, I believe he fel asleep and dropped her.
He made a bottle for her with tap water when she was 3/4 months old
I have caught him asleep with her in his chest sat up with her at least 4 more times.
I got out of the car before we set off on a journey because her headband had fallen over her eyes only to find that he hadn't fastened the seatbelt around the car seat
He has a car with bucket seats and Maxi Cosi, after seeing pictures of the angle of the car seat have said it isn't safe as his care seats aren't suitable to be used with their car seat but he has since said that he would still put her in his car for short journeys.
I really don't turst him at all and now Im a little worried hes going to try to take her without me
Do I contact his mother and what do I say? I posted this in relationships but thought it might be good to post here too. Hope this is okay.