Feeling lonely

[zmandaz]

Im going through a bit of a dark patch at the moment. I went through the majority of my pg alone and whilst I am coping ok with the day to day parenting, I feel really lonely and miss not having someone to share concerns and happy times with. I find it especially hard when Im with my friends who are happily married. Im sure everyone feels like this at some point but its really affecting me at the moment. When I first met my ex we had some fun times and I thought we were good friends. I feel really sad that things have gone to the extreme they have. He has become so abusive that I dont want to be alone with him anymore and he doesnt want anything to do with DD or me. I keep thinking I might meet someone else but then I think that introducing someone new into our lives is so risky because a) I dont want to get hurt again and b) they have to be a suitable person to be a parent to DD. But on the other hand Im not sure I want to be alone for the rest of my life and Id love to have more children. I know youre not supposed to compare yourself to other people and that things could be worse but I keep looking around at my friends and thinking why couldnt things have worked out for me like that, what did I do wrong? Does it get any easier?

Sorry u r feeling so bad. I'm recently single too so share some of your worries. I have freinds who have been single parents and then met someone though so it happens all the time. My DD is a baby still so i can't imagine having energy for a new partner but maybe one day... I think on the positive side, we have our life now so won't need to be so dependant on any future boyfreind which can only be a good thing. Sorry if that doesnt make sense i know what i mean!!

Just wanted to add i know exactly what u mean about sharing your Dcs, it bothers me and i end up ringing my mum, have u got freinds or relatives u can talk to?

Thanks for the messages. I am currently living with my parents as I had to move away from my old home and had nowhere to go. They have been great but they have their own worries and stresses. I think that they will actually see more of DD once we've moved into our own place than they do now and I also feel that I can't burden them too much because it's not their job if you see what I mean. I know I couldn't cope with another relationship just yet but the idea of being alone and living alone scares me. I'm just not a brave person at all! It's good to hear that you are managing well though and I do know what you mean about not being dependant on a fella. I lost everything when I left my ex and I've promised myself that I'll have my own place and be financially independant before I even consider getting involved with anyone again.

zmandaz I think the last thing you need at the moment is to jump into another relationship, think you should move into your new place and settle in first before even contemplating meeting another guy, even then being in a relationship dont automatically mean they are going to be your rock, you cant rely on anybody but yourself and I think your child needs you more.

Hi zmandaz. Am recently split as well and certainly understand all you mean about re starting in life on your own. My doing that with my kids scares the heck out of me - but am trying to look on it as it as opportunity to take a good look at myself and decide what I need as well as how I can make things better for my kids too.
Doesn't mean my attitude is all happy and brash, often find myself thinking how am I going to do this? Have decided that I have to take one day at a time to begin with
I have really dark days too, which is when I pack up some grub and take me and the kids out, even if it's just to the park for a hour or two. Just to get out and think of something else for a while. Doesn't solve any problems but does clear my head and the kids have some fun with me which is just as important :-)
Sorry, probably not very helpful.
Just wanted to let you know you're not alone
Only other thing I can suggest is keep posting, it's what mumsnet is for after all

hi zmandaz-
I am 14 weeks pregnant now, and my boyfriend,now ex, has decided he dosnt want any responsibilty, so im going through a very similar thought process to you. I worried that I would be on my own for ever..which for some reason I dont any more. Im sure there are going to be some dark times ahead, but as gorgeousgrooviegreenie said, i think im going to take this time to look at myself, and what i really want, as i do seem to stumble from relationship to relstionship. I hope when you move into your own place you find it help stablise you and give you a permanent base. Do you have good friends around that undesrtsand your situation?
Big hugs hun, and post here when you need to let off steam or just unload xxx