Going no contact

[Sunshineandreign]

What are people's thought on not interacting with their ex and child's father.
Long story short ex has Dd two weekends a month. Has not asked or offered any more.
He chose to leave but was emotionally abusive, something I didn't recognise untill after he was gone, and am still comming to terms with. As a result I get panic attacks at collection so don't physically see or speak to him ecause its easier for me. Dd just goes out the door to him herself as old enough. I look out the window to check he has her.
A friend said recently that this was wrong and I need to learn to be civil to him for dds sake as it will affect her mentally.
Just keen to here from others if they've done this and found it had a negative impact on the children?

I’m now going through the same. I personally think you have to look after yourself first. If you really struggle at handover then don’t do it. 4 days a month isn’t much so he isn’t much of a parent. You look after her the rest of the time and your Dd needs happy mum. It’s shit isn’t it xx

I am all for being civil but I fully support looking after yourself first. Think about the reasons why you aren't going out the door with her... That is why you are watching from the window. You needn't be ashamed for your choices. He has made you do this.
I was very civil with my DS dad for the few months he bothered despite not being able to stand him by that point. To the world we looked like a very happy family, which I put on for my child. Inside I felt I was wasting so much time and energy on this dick of a man.
I decided to look after myself and not give a shit what anyone thought of my decisions. It made me a very happy Mom to my son and I have no regrets. Aafly he made the choice to stay away from my son when he realised he could no longer manipulate me. But that was OK, as by that point I had rebuilt myself and focused on making me happy to be the best for my son.
You don't need to explain your reasons as long as it works for you xx

Thanks for the replies. Tbh I'm now also questioning why he does come for her. She just got back asked her if she had a nice time said she did she watched tv while daddy snores. Asked her if she did anything else, She said well sometimes daddy farted while he snored....
As funny as the conversation was I'm just completely shocked. I thought at the very least he would interact with her or take her out given that he won't see her now untill.mid Jan. What kind of lesson am I teaching her here.

Sadly @Sunshineandreign it happens all too much.
I know someone who's kids hate going to their dads as he spends no time with them and leaves them with whoever whilst he goes out or sleeps. As a mom you feel you are doing what is best. Sadly it doesn't always go as you expect it to