50/50 and nursery

[Fakehungarian]

Hi. My dd is 2 and my ex and I are trying to sort out contact arrangements. He wants 50/50 (1 week on, 1 week off) and wants to move about 2 hours from where I live now with my dd.

My concerns are around being separated from my dd for a week at a time, which just doesn't feel right, and that she'll be going to nursery every other week which I think is too disruptive.

Has anyone got any experience of this kind of arrangement or any advice?

Thank you.

Week by week isn't suitable for a child that age. It wouldn't be advised until the child is much older. Another form of 50:50 where the child is away for 3 or 4 days at a time is more usual.

You would have to pay for a full time nursery place. You can't pick and choose.

I wouldn't allow that! Where would her childcare/nursery/school be? Your town or his?? Someone would have a lot of travelling to do either way! Have you had legal advice?

It doesn't sound as if it would be in her best Interest. If he lives closer, a 3/4 split could be possible, but how would this work going forward for school? He's choosing to move a significant dosctance away, that negates his opinion on how the tone is divided and his proposal is t in her long term best interests

I’m a huge advocate for 50/50 and no way would I be agreeing to that. We did 3/4 day split at that age.

Thank you. That's my feelings about it too but needed a bit of reassurance! I'm feeling a bit bullied into it. i think I should get some legal advice.

I'm a big fan of 50/50 but it seems stupid to suggest 50/50 parenting whilst at the same time moving TWO HOURS away.

Good for your ex in wanting 50/50 and good for you for being reasonable in discussing it with him but in this case he's being a numpty to sabotage his own plan.

Why not respond by saying you're happy to share care 50/50 but on a 3/4 schedule not a week at a time AND he'll have to stay close to make it work?

Contact should be put in place with a view to being the permanent arrangement and routine for the children. Only reviewed if not working for the kids or some other unforeseeable circumstance. How on earth would this arrangement work in the entirely foreseeable circumstance of your dc starting school?

Although it may seem a long time I would think about how arrangements might work when DD is school age.

For example, if your ex says (to you, or a court if you disagree) that the school in his area is better for DD than school in your area - what will you do then?