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Lone parents

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WWYD?

2 replies

Jules019 · 04/12/2018 18:42

I'm currently a lone parent. DD's father has been advent since I fell pregnant and following this he arranged to pay £150 a month maintenance which was a private agreement. He has kept to this with a reminder here and there but he has now changed his number so I can't get in contact (but has still been paying). As far as I know he earns around £3k a month and going from the maintenance calculator this would work out that I would get around £300 a month, which j relieve may change monthly since he earns different amounts although this would still be more than I receive currently.
Just wondering what you would do in my position. I am struggling to pay rent and nursery fees which are extortionate and could do with some extra help. The problem I have is that he is very controlling and won't like it if I take him to CMS (he previously mentioned he wouldn't like this) and I feel he may cause problems ie suggest my daughter is not his which will prolong the process and in the meantime he will most likely stop paying the £150 which is helping a lot currently.

I could do without the loss of this however I know he is getting far more money than I am and frequently buys new cars while I'm struggling to pay nursery fees and work.

Just would like to know what other people would do in my position. Thank you!!

OP posts:
Hehx3 · 04/12/2018 20:57

I would go to cms. I have abusive, controlling ex too. I was in similar position but i decided children deserves that. Cms will back date to day you contacted them so as long as you can "live" without this £150 for awhile you are likely to get that back. Thats of course my view. You do what feels right for you- dont base your decision on others.

sue51 · 04/12/2018 22:05

I would put in an immediate claim to cms. From what you say, he most probably will challenge paternity but cms will arrange a dna test which he will pay for. This will delay your claim but it will be backdated to the day cms contacted him. If he doesnt like it just say cms are dealing with it and refuse to engage. He is denying you a better standard of living; do not let him get away with it.

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