I was married and we had 2 children who are now 4 & 5 (at school) my husband was financially and psychologically abusive and in the end I left and went in to refuge.
I had to go on income support. I have not worked in years due to been in a controlling relationship and was a stay at home wife/mother I also do not drive. My husband kept me from progressing with anything that would make me less dependant on him (very minipulative)
4 weeks ago I moved in to an housing association house. There is no schools near by that have places, I appealed through fair access but lost and my children now go to a school 50 mins walk away!
My worries are, I’m in the process of changing over from income support to UC and I have to work 24 hours a week. Not that I don’t want to work, I’m just so worried and scared I can not make this work due to the distance to school and finding childcare for 2 children without access to driving. I curntky walk 3 and a half hours a day just for the school run. I am exhausted, my children are exhausted, it has been raining non stop last few days, we are cold and soacked all the time, my 4 year old wees herself a few times on the way to school with it been so long a journey and the sound of the rain. I have to find a job in between those times and cover holidays with childminders/ clubs which are no where near my home. There is no bus route directly to school either, there is a bus 1 and hour to town then another from town every 40 mins to school. Very time consuming and costly. I can’t earn more than minimum wage as I am unskilled. I really do not know how I’m going to pull this off? Is anyone else in this kind of situation? How do you manage/ cope? I have no family to help out. There is one childminder that has places for 2 children but that is only Wednesday & Thursday but that still won’t take me to 24 hours! I am so frightened I will loose my benefits and rent allowance through sanction and thus, loose my home and my children.
What gets my annoyed about this situation is that the DWP do not care that for some people with no help from family/friends and that people like me who have to walk 3 and a half hours a day to get children to school is of no concern to them. I am just a number. I did not have children while on benefits or plan to have children and be on benefits- I am not a scrounger yet they treat everyone like they are. I love my kids but I never would have had chose to have children and be in such a destitute situation.
I am doing everything possible I can to get myself out if this situation, like looking for a home swap closer to the school but I have to be a tennent 12 months before I can do that. I am learning to drive and have my test booked for 7th jan. I go without food to afford this and have lost lots of weight. I sit in a freezing cold undecorated house to keep bills low so I can afford the lessons. When my children go to their dads every other weekend I wrap up in big jumpers and don’t put heating on. But even if I pass my test how am I going to afford a car, plus he insurance as it will be so high first time driver.
My last resort I am doing is desperately seeking a relationship for support but as I’m so desperate I’m attracting the wrong types of people of guys I don’t fancy but seem dependable.
I’m so worried all the time about this and I can’t stop crying. How is anyone else coping in similar situation. No partner, no family, no car, huge distance to school and limited childcare options??