Swimming lessons & weekend access dilema

[mistressmiggins]

My dilema is that I want DS (5) to have swimming lessons. I cant make the weekday ones as they are on days I work which only leaves Sat. However my exH who lives 3hrs away has them once a month to stay & the other fortnight he comes up for the day. The lessons are in batches of 8 so DS will miss 2. Do you think that will matter or for once do you think that I should ask ex to do day visit only so that DS can go to the lessons? exH wont stay locally before anyone suggests him having them for the weekend up here.

I would sign him up for lessons and resign yourself to the fact that it'll take longer for him to learn as he'll miss some. I wouldn't worry about it, tbh - I very much doubt it'll matter too much if he misses one in 4 as long as you're not in a major hurry.

Any swimming lessons are far better than none, and I think the priority should definitely be him spending time with his dad.

He'll only miss one in four as on the day exh comes up, he can take him, can't he?? Excellent bonding time.

Incidentally, we do something similar for ds1's football lessons - okay, not so crucial for life if he doesn't learn to play football but it costs around the same . We regularly go away for the weekends in the summer, and we just accept that some money will be "wasted" when we don't use those lessons because we're not there. Ds1 still thoroughly enjoys the ones he does attend.

that is true Freckle
I will choose a time so he can take him swimming
Agree to missing 1 in 4 - I guess its yet another example of how my ex's actions have a knock on effect on my family and he doesnt seem to care

Parenting is about more than doing things your ex-husband wants to do. Sign the lad up for lessons and let your ex know he has a responsibility to make sure your son is there punctually when it's his weekend for care.

Agnes

Mine go for swimming lessons and they always miss one somewhere in the term - aged relatives party things - weddings - best friends' parties - weekends away - tennis tournaments blah blah. It's not ideal but it's not a big deal.

Oh you sound so like me!! Where've you been? You've not posted for ages.

Book the bloomin lessons. Your son will love them. Let your ex take him if he can.

I wholly empathise with your comments regarding your ex affecting everyone still by his actions. Did you see my thread further down 'negotiating access'? It's hard not to feel bitter isn't it? I can't stop myself and am constantly told by ex that I am being bitter.

I am having this thought at the moment and not sure if i should just go ahead with booking them.

Another thought is that if the lessons are a problem you could teach DS to swim yourself. Admittedly progress may be slower though.

Let her miss the 2. It really ought to be his time in his period particularly as it is so rare he can see her.

I have already decided thanks to MN to sign up for DS to have the lessons & do 3 out of 4

incidently the reason they see their dad so infrequently is HIS CHOICE Xenia