Please don't judge me!!!!!

[Mentalmum91]

Probable (very probable really) separation from dp. I have 2 older dds, 6 and 4. He is not their dad, but has been there since eldest was 3. I will be single mum of 3 :( how do I tell them he is leaving? What do I tell them? They adore him. Please no bashing. He will be around to visit my youngest (his baby) regularly. When he visits vast majority of time he only bothers with baby.

So where's the dds' own dad then, OP?

He sees them regularly thankfully.

You tell him kindly to interact with the other two otherwise he takes baby out or comes round when they aren't around.
He was they for them before and can't just stop because they aren't his.
Only a cruel person would do that and so that person wouldn't be in my home or coming in without a level of respect.
Just tell the dc they you to are just friends now. Keep it simple.
Dc ask questions but they really don't understand the answer most the time

tbh i think its quite natural to only bother with the baby now that you have broken up, how many people stay in contact with their exes children after a break up? not many i bet.
soon he will start taking the baby on his own so they wont see much of him anyway.

Thanks. It's obviously sad for ny older ones but it's more what to say to them about why he's leaving. They called him their second daddy. They told their friends he was their daddy. :'( He's a shitbag but there you go. Are all men selfish dicks?

Be relieved they have the chance to say goodbye.
My exh who had been with my dc for 5 years went without a word to them. Ds cried every night at bedtime.
For 13 weeks.
Nearly broke me tbh.

but they have their own dad? tbh i think you made a mistake letting them call him dad.

I think you need to be clear mum and ..... are not happy together so have decided that it is better to live separately. ...... will be more focus’s on baby as baby doesn’t share your daddy

Thanks starlight345 I think that sounds sensible, I will probably go with that explanation, it seems like a gentle approach. Candycreeper they never actually called him dad to him, they used his name when speaking to him or about him normally. My older one told her friends he was her dad and that she had two dad's because she believed they wouldn't understand that he was her sisters dad iykwim? I did make it clear he was not her real dad though when not in front of her friends. Santais I am so so sorry for your ds, he sounds like an awful excuse of a man. :(