Alternating festive period routine.

[Hullabalooo]

I'm going to float this alternating Christmas and New year routine going forward to EA STBXH . Can i have your thoughts and feedback before i do?

23rd December 9am - 24th December midday (parent one)

Christmas period: 24th December midday - 28th December 10am (parent two)

New Year Period: 31st December 9am - 2nd January midday (parent one)

Normal service resumes following these dates each year.

We don't talk so please don't suggest anything that involves actually communicating.

Are you taking it in turns each year?

What are you going to do if the 23rd and 24th are working days? But it sounds like a good idea

Hmm hadn't factored the possibility of 23rd being a working day. Any suggestions about that one?

Yes would be alternating years

Would both parents not rather share Xmas day? Would you be happy not seeing DC on actual Xmas?

I have to lump it really. We can't be in the same room. And families don't live nearby so would make it impossible to see them for festive period.

Do you live near each other/are your children used to moving around?

Seem ok except 12 is too early on Christmas Eve, I would say 5/6pm. Because if your going to miss Christmas Day you can at least have some fun before hand. Panto etc. Or finishing off bits before dc comes back.

I live fairly near ex.

Should be after lunch on Christmas Eve, day back with parent 2 by 4

Also need to bear in mind that don't want dc to spend too much time with ex due to the emotional impact on dc

So I'm guessing as sharing Christmas Day isn't a option why doesn't one parent have Christmas Eve and day and the other has Boxing Day and the 27th.
It always worked for my dc as that's who the plan should before, because have you thought dc might not what to spend all that time without one parent.
Also by a certain age they started to tell you what they want. Last year the dc went for Christmas evening but this year they want to just go Boxing Day.

Unfortunately have to make a routine as dc has no power to get what he wants from ex so this way makes more accessible structure for dc

For us, alternate Christmas and NYE (court ordered).

Dad picks kids up from mums at 5pm on Sunday the 23rd. Dad has kids Christmas Day, Boxing Day.

Dad drops kids off at 5pm on Friday the 28th. Mum has kids NYE, NY day.

@northernerspirit alternating that each year?

Would it be an idea to drop the 23rd day?

When we alternated we did 24-28th and then 28-2nd then normal service.

Thanks @lonecat

@lonecat what times on those dates do you do the actual handovers?

Thank goodness you don't have any in laws. Then you'd be stretching it big time.

Hand over times all revolves around work as we both worked full time so usually after work about 5pm was hand over time.

Thanks.. so four days one year and five days the next depending on who's doing Christmas and who is doing ny?

Yes - the ‘Christmas’ and ‘NY’ stints are alternated each year. No moving between houses on key days and kids are happy with the set up.

Yes exactly.
My Ex is EA combined with excessive alcohol consumption. and after several years contact was reduced to no overnights because of this so DD then just went for Christmas Day lunch. Finally at the age of 12 DD made her own choice to seriously limit her contact with him. She meets him for coffee about three times a year in town and does not want any contact at all where he might drink alcohol so Christmas and New Year are out. She will shortly be 15 and has stuck to this pattern for over 2 years.
Now Christmas and New Year through her choice are with me.

How about you @lonecatwithkittens