Teenage son wants to move to his dads

[Shields6]

I am having a really tough time with my son who is 14. His dad left me and moved to America 2 years ago. My son is trying to control things, much like his dad did. He says he can’t live with my shouting and wants to start a new life and make new friends in America. He’s pushing all my buttons. He is constantly on his phone and Xbox. I have a new relationship with an old old friend who lives down in England, I in Scotland. He visiting in 2 weeds. Relationship is great. So stressed, don’t know what to do next. Giving lots of space now and trying hard to ignore and redirect. So stressful.

I would look at your approaches .

Setup controls on x box for limiting time . It means less conflict.

Do look at books to help you respond better because although my Ds is 11 so not at your age yet ime shoring just seems to escalate things .

At 14 your DS certainly has the ability to decided who he wants to live with. I guess it depends on whether his father knows about this plan - does DS visit his father regularly , or is this idea just an escape plan because he doesn't like your control. You need to speak to your ex and work out what is going on with DS.

He's 14. What does he know? It sounds like you want him to go so you can pursue your new relationship.

Definitely don’t want my son to go! I will take your advice on board. Communication still strained with his Dad. K

Son visits his dad on holidays with his sister

My son will always be my priority

I do not plan to make any changes to My sons life due to my new relationship.

Why did you mention your new relationship?

I'd not want to live with constant shouting either and your son is old enough to choose the parent he wishes to live with.

It does read like you want him to go to make your new relationship easier otherwise why mention it?

Op so difficult - sounds to me like your Ds is playing yiu emotionally does he know about your new partner did he leave for someone else
A huge range of emotions kicking around - I had huge battles with my Dd a few years back trying to get her off her phone - she refused I tried to take It off her just ended up in wrestling match! In the end I backed down impossible to assert any authority over her as a single parent!

I still have issus - came on here to see if I could find some perspective - will do my own post in a minute.

YOur entitled to a new life - I get this kids come first but at what point do we stop sacrificing ourselves - so many on here say don’t give up a career for kids but you should put kids over a relationship? Are these people single or in relationships themselves!

In your situation I think I would lay off your Ds until after your bf has been - your Ds is probably anxious about this - let him have his xbox - my Ds at a similar age used to play to midnight - wasnt happy about this either - used to hide it when at school but on the other hand he was playing with a friend who’s dm also had been diagnosed with breast cancer!

There is no easy answer - no doubt you are doing your best with little support from their DF! HAve you got things planned to do with your Kids and bf too - good luck you deserve some fun and happiness