who organises it after separation

[disneyspendingmoney]

Who should actually organise contact? Resident parent or NRP?
Because of a difficult separation and craptonne if emotional misery. I've blocked any electronic Comms with X. The kids asked for blocks too.

The judge ordered supervised contact but X hasn't signed off on the form's my solicitor sent to her solicitor. Also she hasn't done the blood or hair tests or the GP/ psychiatric report or the rehab addiction agency report or engaged with her own solicitor.

I told her to contact my solicitor if she needed to ask me something. But still no request for contact. I've gone through the social worker to arrange some contact that the kids felt they needed.

You know if the tables were turned, is be speaking to her solicitor to arrange stuff, or even writing a polite letter to the her & kids or getting the SW to pass on a message.

But WtF... I've been getting myself worked up because the holiday season is coming and thinking about reaching out on behalf of the kids. But I know it would end up being manipulated into something against me. I'd also like to ask why the fuck is she you behaving like a fucking stereotype because shes in denial about what she did wrong and won't even reach out to mediate or build bridges or anything. It feels like Ive done all of the arranging.

I must admit I'm terrified to speak to her but there are numerous channels to arrange contact aren't there.

Bump

Grrrrr!

What reasonable, level headed, sober person texts and calls after midnight.

Everything that ever needed to be said was said before we separated... For years, enough for ten bad relationships.

We have solicitors who can act as message passers

We have a social worker who can be an intermediary

They could even use the schools

Or use cafcass. Even the court.

But no! Texts and calls after midnight on a Sunday.

Wow! I see that the empathy quotient hasn't increased.

Dealing with the needy narcissistic self deluding conceited package rapped in alcoholism of the worst sort, with little ability to listen or understand.

It's no longer my job to sort stuff out, there are decent resonable mechanisms that can be used, use them.

There is no need to blame me, I've enough blame for myself at what went wrong.

That's the passive aggressive version of what I'd like to say, there is an alternative version that stats with fuck off... But what's the point saying it to someone who can't listen either way

After midnight it is always alcohol fuelled, I've been there. Block the phone number only have email communication so you can look at then when you are ready.
If I was you I would make an offer of supervised contact through your solicitor and then leave it at that.

Don't make any direct contact yourself.

I'd ask solicitor to send a reminder of steps needed to be taken eg hair sample test and the steps that need to be completed to have some supervised contact.

It must be hard for your kids if they want to see her, but I'd look at supporting them through that rather than forcing contact when absent parent clearly has issues and is unreliable. Do the kids have people they can talk to? Are there certain messages you've been advised to say to them so they know it's not their fault and absent parent needs to be well and in a good place and isn't right now?

If they see someone for support eg pastoral at school or kids counsellor maybe ask about indirect contact options too to bridge the gap?

The court has ordered supervised contact I've done my part 6 weeks ago and waiting on my ex to do had part.

Everything you've suggested, I've put in place.

It turn out she's had a moan to the social worker this morning about not having contact but the court was very very specific, giving her more contact than I would like and I'm doing everything that I've been told to do.

It's bloody frustrating.

Thank you for your response