Do you ever go out?

[SparklesAndUnicorns]

I'm a single mum and although I have a lot of support from my friends and family I don't ever go out or get time to myself, my ex is a very absent father and also lives over three hours away so I don't get weekends to myself or anything, my younger sister occasionally babysits but my family have recently moved further away and she has just got a job, my dad and step mum don't have my kids often unless I am desperate, which isn't ever just for a night out or anything and other grandparents live too far away to babysit for an evening. I just found myself thinking I have no hope of meeting anyone if I never get to leave the house alone or go out, my eldest is in school but my youngest is only two so is always with me other than at work, I work at a school with mainly female staff so no chance of meeting anyone there! Does anyone else have this situation? I love my kids dearly but I feel like I'm going to be a single parent forever, all of my friends are in relationships, even those who have split from relationships with children involved so I'm feeling like I have no one to turn to. How do you cope? Do you feel the same as me? I am happy being by myself and not wallowing over it too much but it would be nice to share my day with another adult on an evening.

all my single mum friends go out and meet men. your youngest will be in nursery soon?

You mean out out. After dark? On licensed premises. . Not often.

Dc is 10 so mostly for pizza or to pta quiz. Sometimes children’s theatre. Pub for lunch at weekends.. But we do Parkrun and karate, & I meet a few people that way.

Never sadly.
Exh lives quite far away and DD refuses to sleep there at all. His contact is currently only 4hours every other week.
My parents are supportive but they go out together on Saturday nights. They’ll have DD any Friday night but my friends can’t do Fridays.
Besides that DD has separation anxiety and is having CBT for that.
So yeah. I’m always in and alone.

No.
Last time was three years ago.

No energy, no babysitters and a DD who may well have a meltdown if I'm out. It's sadly not worth it. I'm totally out of the habit now.

No. Its been over 6 years.
No help ever.
Family 8 hours away.

Im used to it. Its never been different.

It is possible to go out once children reach age 12 without a babysitter unless they have special needs or raise objections.

I have been out a few times (ds is 13) although I must admit all these years of stopping home and in winters especially I just cannot be bothered!

I think I have turned into a hermit lol.

I have been out twice in the evening (for dinner, no drinking involved!) since dd was born. Her father is a waste of space and I last heard that he is no longer in the country (which is a good thing!), and I have very little family to help. Don't actually mind too much, she is only one, but I don't see this changing much until she is a teenager but rather be like this, socialise with her in the day at weekends, then have that awful awful person in our lives. Swings and roundabouts I guess!

*than, not then.

Until my youngest was old enough to leave with my eldest i had to pay a babysitter which i could ill afford. Now the desire to meet somebody has been diminished by the many pointless online dates. Could have had a holiday round the world with what i paid out to babysitters and it does seem a waste now.
Lean in to the loneliness. Learn to live with it. It gives more power.

No never. My ex lives 5mins away but isn't interested and my family say they will have them but never can when I ask. I have no interest in meeting someone new but just getting away from kids for 5mins would be nice as I also work in a school so don't even get away from them there.

I go out maybe once every two months when a family member can have my kids. My ex is an alcoholic and although he does offer, I just think it's a risk so I never let them go. It's incredibly lonely and I'd love to date and meet someone nice but realistically I have little free time at all. I do feel sad but from here, there are people in more difficult situations. You just have to carry on and appreciate what you have, that's my view really.

To be honest I am quite happy resting in the evenings. I had my son at an older age than most and being perimenopausal means my energy is not the best in the evening. I see very little wrong with cosey evenings indoors in the winter. Especially as I get more of an evening now my son is 13.

I think I've been out 4 times this year. Zero chance of meeting someone, so I've pretty much shelved that idea. I imagine hitting it off with someone and arranging second date "would February 2019 be good for you"

My last evening out was autumn 2012.

Even when I do get out (which isn't often) I don't meet anyone anyway! I've turned to dating apps just for male conversation 🙈