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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Child maintenance service

21 replies

Quillbasher · 31/10/2018 06:52

My 16 year old has just moved in with her father after living with me since she was born and we split up. She's been there a month. Ex has been paying us child support monthly but has told CMS that ds no longer lives with me. They're trying to contact me to confirm but the truth is I can't afford to live without the CMS payments so I've been ignoring their calls. What happens next? Am I in trouble?

OP posts:

Original poster

Quillbasher · 31/10/2018 07:00

*dd not ds! Auto-correct!

OP posts:

1Wanda1 · 31/10/2018 07:06

You're not entitled to child maintenance if the child is living with the other parent. In fact, unless DD is spending 50/50 time with each of you, her resident parent will be entitled to receive child maintenance from you. If you're on benefits, I think the flat rate is £5 a week. If you have an income then the amount is determined following the CMS formula. There is a calculator online you can use to work out what you should be paying.

Unless your ex agrees to let it go, you will probably have to repay any payments that you have received while not entitled to them (i.e. since your DD moved in with her dad).

Original poster

Quillbasher · 31/10/2018 07:59

What will they do if I just ignore them? I have looked at my finances and will struggle to survive without the extra cash?

OP posts:

MissMalice · 31/10/2018 08:01

He will have to prove the child lives with him. He’d need to get the child benefit paid to him to do this.

fuzzywuzzy · 31/10/2018 08:03

He’ll need to provide proof and then they’ll stop taking maintenance from him.

He’ll be entitled to chase you for repayment for the extra money you’ve effectively stolen from him.

Your finances are not his problem. How long do you intend on stealing from him? What are you plans for when CMS officially stops anyway?

Tell CMS your dd is now living with him full time and make it easier for everybody involved.

SillySallySingsSongs · 31/10/2018 08:05

They're trying to contact me to confirm but the truth is I can't afford to live without the CMS payments so I've been ignoring their calls. What happens next? Am I in trouble?

You are taking money you are not entitled to. In fact you should be paying him money.

ArnoldBee · 31/10/2018 08:07

Even worse you're stealing money from your child for her upbringing.

Mummabear2212 · 31/10/2018 08:10

If you ignore it, they won't go away but will make matters worse. It's better for all involved if you deal with it now.

MissWimpyDimple · 31/10/2018 08:11

I really sympathise, but surely you just have known this was coming? She's 16 so it wouldn't have carried on that much longer anyway.

My Dc is 12 and I'm already planning ahead for when this happens. Upping hours and stepping up the career prospects.

I'm also aware that I'll probably have to move when DC moves out.

Wheelsonthebus123 · 31/10/2018 08:12

Did she have her own room when she lived with you? If so could you let it out to a lodger to make up the shortfall, in addition to the saving you're making on no longer needing to feed and clothe her?

SillySallySingsSongs · 31/10/2018 08:15

Are you also claimimg CB and CTC? If you are you need to stop that immediately as that is fraud.

OrgyOfSpookiness · 31/10/2018 08:20

With the new Child maintenance service which has replaced CSA for new claimants they will contact you via the details provided by ex and will ask for your income etc and the amount you pay is based on that and dependant on how often you have dd overnight. This cost £20 to set up initially and there is no charge for it to be sent to and from your account. If u don't pay they start charging you and ex to take payment from you and charge him to send it to his account. This is what the outcome would be if you do not pay at all and your ex had to take you to court.

It will cost more in the long run

PoesyCherish · 31/10/2018 08:23

Won't you have to pay it all back plus the CMS you're supposed to be paying him? So you'd end up paying back more than you received plus also continuing with the CMS you owe him each month.

1Wanda1 · 31/10/2018 08:38

If you just ignore them they will find you, and by the time they do, the amount you will have to repay will have mounted and mounted.

Your ex can just stop paying if he wants to in the meantime. He is not obliged to pay you for a child who doesn't live with you.

I have to say, if the OP was from a man saying "what happens if I ignore the CMS because I don't want to pay?", he'd be flamed. Given the age of your DD, you have obviously known that child maintenance would be ending within the near future anyway - what did you expect to do when she reaches 18 and he would have stopped paying anyway? Perhaps you can work more to make up the difference / move to less expensive accommodation?

Cheerfulasever · 31/10/2018 08:50

OP- how have you managed to support your child if you can't support yourself only on the same money?

How did you buy her clothes, toiletries, food, sanitary bits, extras and treats? Surely once all that is cut out- you can manage? Unless the amount is so large that it also makes a big dent in rent and bills? Do you work?

cheesefield · 31/10/2018 09:10

Don't go down that road OP. It's fraud, and you will end up having to repay it.

Cheerfulasever · 31/10/2018 09:16

@Quillbasher - Are you DorsetMum?

Have you asked the same question twice, hoping for a different result?

00100001 · 31/10/2018 15:04

Why aren't you paying to support your own child??

00100001 · 31/10/2018 15:06

What do you think will happen if you just ignore it? They'll go "oh well, never mind love, keep the benefits you're not entitled to - no need to pay them back!" ?

SlightlyMisplacedSingleDad · 31/10/2018 23:06

Appalling behaviour. It takes two to make a child. Not only are you failing to support your child by failing to pay maintenance, you're actively harming your child by taking away money that would otherwise be available in her dad's pocket to support her. You're stealing not just from your ex, but from your own child. Maintenance is for the child - it's not for you. Be a decent guman being. Pick up the damn phone to the CMS, and put it right.

NGC2017 · 31/10/2018 23:25

I sympathise with your financial situation but you are not entitled to payments anymore. In fact you make it sound like you have benefitted from the history of the payments and not your child. My case is within the CMS and when the maintenance does come in its used on or saved from my DS.
You need to stop claiming for any thing that entitles you to help due to a child residing with you. Also my advice would be to not ignore the CMS. My ex did this and after 3 months they went straight for his wages. All he had to do was communicate with them. He refused and ever since has had to pay a £65 penalty each and every month. He isn't in my DS life however I think the penalty is harsh (especially as it doesn't go to my DS) but you can't evade them forever. You will make the situation worser for yourself.

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