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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Are your kids with their daddy today?

30 replies

Ulysees · 17/06/2007 12:39

Mine spend half the time with theirs as they prefer it. Dh has organised his work so when he has them he can pick them up.
They went off with him today until Wednesday after school,and I pick them up then.
Dh was pleased he'd got a big card, aftershave, both pound shop and a box of heroes choccies.
I didn't get anything for mother's day as dh was still fuming about me leaving, but sadly when I was at his collecting something I found 2 mother's day cards behind the sofa, unwritten.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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mojosmum · 17/06/2007 12:44

ulysees my dd isnt with her dad cos he live with his other kids & it seems to me he sees it as she would spoil his little family i bought him card & dd wrote it & posted it he rung this morning but no thanks for the card to dd or me i didnt recieve anything for mothers day but then i havent ever in the last 6yrs so why would he do it this yr

Original poster

Ulysees · 17/06/2007 12:50

oh no mojosmum I can't understand men like that, so sad. Fancy ringing today of all days and not mentioning it

OP posts:

NuttyMuffins · 17/06/2007 12:55

Nope, mine are with me as normal.

I got them a card with a keyring on it saying 'I love my dad', and they gave it to him on Friday when he collected them from school and dropped them back here.

Dd1 asked if she could text him on my phone and she did, said Happy Fathers day from herself and her siblings, but have heard nothing off him.

Original poster

Ulysees · 17/06/2007 13:05

Remind me to stop moaning about exdh, feel quite humble now

OP posts:

lou33 · 17/06/2007 13:07

no but strangely enough he is ont he phone to them as i type

i wonder if he knew it was fathers day (he is in htailand and hasnt spoken to them since feb)

NuttyMuffins · 17/06/2007 13:09

Were are off to spoil their grandad (my dad) in a bit instead. It's his birthday too, so we have pressies and a cake

Original poster

Ulysees · 17/06/2007 13:11

Happy birthday Nutty's dad

Oh Lou, feb!!! I've read your threads about that arse, well shot IMO.
How you doing anyway hun? Were the kids pleased to hear from him?

OP posts:

lou33 · 17/06/2007 13:11

my kids have no grandparents to spoil

lou33 · 17/06/2007 13:13

yes feb, he has sent hte odd email to my oldest 2, but the last time the boys heard from him was feb

kids seem ok but then dd1 isnt here, she is still on an overnight fishing trip, so we will see what happens when she returns

the younger ones are usually pretty cool about his lack of contact, not that it's right, but dd1 gets v upset , especially now he has a new baby

Original poster

Ulysees · 17/06/2007 13:14

I lost my dad years ago and have no grandparents.
Was my old ma's birthday yesterday though, 77 although no one is allowed to know as she's had a 50 year old toy boy for the last 17 years In some ways she's younger than him iykwim?

OP posts:

Original poster

Ulysees · 17/06/2007 13:17

lou. So does he have nationalisation over there now? Surely he comes to the UK?
Well done you for coping although I know you have no choice. I really have it easy compared to a lot of lone parents. Men are such a mystery, how can they be so detached? I know some women can be like this too but it's mainly dad.

OP posts:

colditz · 17/06/2007 13:20

nope.

he's at work.

And he will pop round later, at about 6, but they go to bed at 7 anyway.

lou33 · 17/06/2007 13:22

he is over there i guess illegally, or at least ina shade of grey, because he is on a tourist visa and just does a visa run every month or so to get it renewed, by crossing into cambodia for a short time then coming back

feb 22nd he called, 2 days late for ds2's birthday, i happened to answer the call, and was only able to muster and icy " you are a few days too late" before handing him over, we haven spoken verbally since

he says he tried to call in april but got hit by a drunk driver on his way, but even so it doesnt explain the gaps inbetween really

he hasnt seen the kids since august 13th last year

he is saying he is coming back in july (without gf and new baby), which quite frankly i am dreading

i think he needs to be in touch all the time or not at all, the sporadic nature of his contact is not good for hte kids

Original poster

Ulysees · 17/06/2007 13:25

Hit by a drunk driver so couldn't speak on the phone? Even if he was in hospital surely he could ring? FFS!!
No wonder you're dreading July, be so confusing for the kids.
Do you ever wonder where the man you knew went? My ex says and does things now and I think 'did I ever really know you?'

OP posts:

mojosmum · 17/06/2007 13:25

dds dad insists he loves her as much as he loves his other 2 [ other girl not biologically his but he met her mum when she was 6mnth preg] i dont resent the other kids its his doing i just dont understand that if he can love a child that isnt biologically his why cant he love one that is his own blood

Original poster

Ulysees · 17/06/2007 13:28

Because he is selfish mojosmum. I don't understand it at all and my ex doesn't.

OP posts:

mojosmum · 17/06/2007 13:29

dds dad once told me when we where together that his kids where his world & if he couldnt see them he would have to kill himself cos life would mean nothing so why now does he chose not to see dd?????

lou33 · 17/06/2007 13:30

i do wonder, i also question whether he was actually always like it and i just refused to admit it

Original poster

Ulysees · 17/06/2007 13:30

he sounds a bit immature to say such a thing, forgive me if I'm wrong? Arghh at him

I'm going to make phad thai for myself now.
Hope you all have a great day xxxxxx

OP posts:

lou33 · 17/06/2007 13:31

mmmm pad thai!

mojosmum · 17/06/2007 13:31

ulysees - your kids are so lucky to have a dad that wants them dds dad says he hates me & the feeling is mutual but i would have great respect for him & would even let him have it his way if he was constant & showed love for her

Original poster

Ulysees · 17/06/2007 13:32

yes lou i think we can all be guilty of the rose tinted specs. I pretended to be happy for years and almost cracked up. Then had to stay because of ex's troubles even though I was desperate to leave.

off to cook now, talk later xx

OP posts:

EllieK · 17/06/2007 13:32

ds1 is with his daddy on holiday in France, I always try to make sure he goes to daddy's on Fathers Day, especially as ex-p has his birthday tomorrow. I sent cards and pressies in his suitcase

ds2 is here with me, it's his dad's first fathers day bt i just can't bring myself to get a card for him or make the effort to arrange a visit

Original poster

Ulysees · 17/06/2007 13:32

come over lou, I always make too much and end up eating it
Making it with marinated tofu for a change though, usually use chicken.

OP posts:

lou33 · 17/06/2007 13:34

ooh are you local to me?

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