What do I do, i feel pretty shit.

[SofaKingFedUp]

I have a beautiful baby girl, 6 months old.
Her dad and I split when I was pregnant, he lives in another country so rarely sees her, but he does ask about her everyday.
I'm currently living with my mum but looking for my own place, just can't find one at an affordable price so saving up.
I have hardly any friends here, because I spent most of the year in another country with ex bf for the past 6 years, the friends I do have live elsewhere in the UK, about an hour and half on the train. My mum is great but we aren't gettin on as much atm, probably because we're not used to being around eachother so much. I have a younger brother who has my nephew, he is 10 months old.
I'm feeling very lonely recently, I'm crying alot after DD goes to bed. I have no one to spend time with, to get out of the house just for a coffee etc. I go places with my mum but it's not the same. My brother and his girlfriend never invite DD and I anywhere. I always say we should go somewhere and do stuff with the babies and I text them to ask, they agree but then the next time I see them they're always taking about how they did this or went there (most of the time it's things I've said I wanted to do) and they only ever come here when they want something (like money) or my brothers gf will text me to come over or do something when she's argued with my brother.
Today I'm feeling shit because weeks ago I discussed with brothers gf that we would take the babies to a Halloween party at the local soft play in their costumes. I text her today and she has now told me she is going to a party at a friend's house instead. And now ive read that the soft play is fully booked anyway so can't even take her alone. I will take her to the other local soft play instead, I guess. But it will be alone or with my mum maybe, if she's talking to me by then.
How do you meet other mums? My health visitor told me about a local group but I have major anxiety thinking about going because she said that you have to speak up in front of the other people and this puts me off. I feel I should just suck it up and deal with it for DD sake. I've booked her in for swimming lessons starting next week so maybe I will meet other people there, but how do you single parents cope? Any suggestions on how to meet other people in similar situations?
I need to meet someone otherwise I'll go crazy but I need to get over the anxiety of it all first. I haven't had a verbal conversation with an adult in about a week.

i dont know, im in the same boat, groups really would be the only way, maybe just try them and see? theres an app called mush and a few others (dont know the others names) that ive heard of that are for meeting other mums but i wouldnt use them personally so dont know if theyre any good.

I moved to a new town Lp when Ds was not much older.

I made myself go and some I never visited again , some I made myself go to . Some I enjoyed. Structured groups can be easier as you are focused on your child but can make small talk

Look up gingerbread there may be a local group, also fb local parents groups .

I started by going to a weekly 45 minute singing nursery rhymes thing at a local library. It was short and I could focus my attention on DS if I needed to not be bothered by other adults. But lots of the parents stayed after the group, looked at the books, loitered around hoping for some adult conversation. That was my way in. Complimented a strangers daughter outfit. Got chatting.

Op it sounds really tough for you.

I also lived in an area where I didn’t know anyone when I had dc.
I started going to local baby groups mostly hotels in church halls, and the library had a couple of events a week.
I practised my small talk and asked things like if they knew of any other baby groups in the area or complimented people on their dcs outfits (like a pp) or just smiled at people and said ‘hello’

I'll force myself to go to the local group on a Wednesday that my health visitor told me about, maybe I'll enjoy it. But if not, like you say I don't have to go back. She also said something about the local library so I will see what's going on there too. I'll try to force myself.
The thing is, I'm actually pretty sociable, it's just the first initial starting off. Once I've done it once I'll be fine to go again (if I like it) but I get really anxious going into new places alone. Especially baby groups because I'm worried other people will judge me for not having a partner. I know they probably won't judge at all but I just go through all these scenarios in my head and it's stupid. Next week hopefully will start to be a positive one. Thanks guys

I go as a single parent. There’s other single parents out there too. You won’t be the only one in the room feeling like this honestly. The (regular) mums at the library group I go to know I’m a single mum and never once have I felt judged by them. Mainly cos, just like you, I’m a fucking amazing human being pouring my heart and soul into raising my child without the average support network.

Just go. It’s easy to start a conversation with other mums. Just start taking about nappies or baby clothes. They won’t think anything like ‘what’s this woman going on about’ they will be just grateful to speak to another mum too.

My best advice is not to go to something once, try at least two or three times, and then see how you feel.
You might well meet people who will end up good friends!

@Faster ok that makes me feel a little better. It's just I'm so used to people being assholes recently that I'm expecting the worst from every situation now.
I just need a little positivity to lift this shitty mood that's been bringing me down recently. I hope people are as nice in the group's are you lot are.

Thing is that group you go to could be full of arseholes. Absolute arseholes. But as long and you and your DD have a bit of time together, out of the house, having a sing song, having a cuddle, then it doesn’t matter. What matters is you and DD.
The woman j connected with the most at baby group, who is now a friend, wouldn’t be someone id ever meet if it wasn’t for our kids. She’s a successful professional, married, breastfeeding, the opposite of me! But we get along as adult women, as mothers, we have a similar outlook on life.
You might well just meet your mum mate.
Have a bit more faith in yourself. And every other mum is there just to get out the bloody house!

Good luck OP and do go and try some groups. You only need to find one or two people that you click with and you'll be away. Any mum there will be experiencing lots of the same day to day challenges as you - though you have got a particularly tough situation right now.

I moved to a new area with my first baby and knew no-one. I went to the baby-weighing with the health visitor; then had to stay for ages as my baby needed feeding. Sat next to another mum also feeding... made a friend! Arranged to meet up for a cup of tea... long history now of stuff we did together with our kids. 13 years later her child is here on sleepover tonight...

That was a serendipitous meet up but now is a good time. Lots of other mums out there who've been plunged into something very new and who are looking for new friends. They won't care whether you are a single mum or not, or anything else.

If you have a Facebook account, search if your local area has a mums group on there. If so you can ask
Of local Groups you can attend

I've found the best friends at a prams in the park bootcamp, it's the friendliest thing I've ever been to. Highly recommended. Sorry you are feeling low, it's tough. I'm also a single mother and have met other single mothers.