XH used to have the children 10 nights per month, 2 years ago reduced to 4 nights per month because he moved in with new GF who doesn't cope well with the children and lives 2 hours away. Every couple of months he will change dates. He refuses to allow me even an hour later pick up on a Sunday- he has said that if I am away for a weekend he will refuse to collect them on a Friday unless he has evidence that I have booked childcare for the Sunday evening until I get back (never later than 6.30pm) so he is completely inflexible.
One of my closest friends is getting married and 5 of us are having a hen weekend in November. All planned around one of my child-free weekends. We've paid £500 each for the weekend, posh spa break in UK.
XH messaged me yesterday saying he needs to be somewhere that weekend, could I confirm it's ok for him not to have the DC as he needs to book flights. I say, sorry no I have plans, I can't change. His response was well that's tough, I can't have them, can't you ask a friend to have them? Like I would offload my DC for a whole weekend as if it was a play date after school. I asked why his plans were more important than mine, he hasn't replied, just says that he cannot change and that it isn't a holiday. I have asked him to apply for a court order so we can get things agreed formally, again no response. I told him I am really angry about this and the fact that the flexibility works only in his favour- no response.
I know there's nothing I can do- it just seems so unfair that I get 4 child free nights a month, I plan something for 2 of those nights and he gets to cancel as it's not convenient for him. I know there is no answer, just needed to vent.