Hi. This may be quite a lengthy post so I apologise.
I have been with my husband for 11 years married for 1. We have 2 boys together 6 and 2. We also have my stepson living with us who is 13.
My stepson came to live with us early this year due to issues with his mum and her partner. Social services put him In our care due to dv,drug use and selling and excessive alcohol. It is still going through court and I am at the end of my tether with it all. I have always loved my stepson dearly and always treated him as my own.
Throughout this year we have had to undergo parenting assessments, intrusive questions and social services have also had to talk to my eldest. I have found it very hard although all of our assessments have come back extremely positive.
I have had to go to the go as I am finding myself crying day in day out. I can't cope! I have been on antidepressants for 2 months now and I don't feel any different.
I have had to make all the phone calls as my hubby can't have his phone on him at work and I can. I have had to run my stepson 8 miles to and from school daily which means I am constantly late for work and am unable to take my own children to school/nursery. It has affected us financially which has put a major strain on us as a couple and a family. We both work full time and have a good wage but were skint.
We argued before all of this, however we are now falling out every day. We don't argue in front of the kids but I know my eldest knows there's something not quite right as he asked me why I'm not friends with daddy anymore!how do I answer that??!
I do love my husband but I don't know if I love him the way I'm supposed to anymore. He has been useless. All of the pressure has been on me, I've done all the running around. Of course he's happy because he got all of his boys but he hasn't changed a bit. He hasn't once asked me if I'm ok or offered to take some of the strain off me. I do all of the household chores, sort bills, sort everything. I have told him that I need some help but nothing changes until I blow my top. Even then things only change for a day or 2.
He frustrates me, his lack of help has made me resentful towards him and I hate how I feel. He refuses to admit that he is depressed, I am a nurse and so can recognise signs. He doesn't come to bed, falls asleep on the sofa until 3-4 am then comes up nd get a up late every morning. Every time I try to talk to him he either blows up like bottle of pop or just walks away. It's like he doesn't want to admit something's wrong. I have tried talking him in not happy but he's not listening.
My step son can be quite hard work at times and can be vile to the 6 yo. My issue is he's seen so much violence he tho is it's normal behaviour and I don't want this kind of behaviour rubbing off on my kids.
I really don't want to be in my marriage any more but I feel stuck because if I leave where does that leave my stepson?
I can't be miserable for the rest of my life I don't know if I should stay or go! I desperately need some advice. Thanks for reading