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Daughters dad bad-mouthing me to daughter

1 reply

Amy274 · 24/10/2018 11:29

Hi everyone! This is my first time on here and posting!
I have a 2y/o she'll be 2 and a half in December. Me and her dad split when she was 2 months, I've always given him contact and been quite lenient as he couldn't drive I would drop her off/pick her up.
Until one day he spoke badly to me, shouting while I had daughter in my arms so I walked off and put her back in the car.. I said he should speak to me properly as I'm helping him out dropping her to him. He pushed me and took LO out my car and told me to pick her up later.. from then I made him pick her up and drop her off always making sure I have someone with me when he comes to house.
Recently he's become hassle to me and my new partners life. He's trying to cause arguments between my new relationship and just basically making life unpleasant.
I've been to a solicitor to seek advice, I was told to make a contact book up to stop the unnecessary contact with him. So I did, when I explained the book to him he laughed and said No. When he brought daughter back the book was filled in detailing what he had eaten and if she had slept.. as I asked.
However when she came back she was saying she doesn't like me. This isn't the first time, before after coming back she has said "you don't care about me" to hear this off my daughter who I care and love very much upset me deeply.
Since she came back on Sunday.. now Wednesday. She has been a different child, she tells me not to talk to her or not to sing (I'm always singing) we have such a good bond and she is usually well behaved but I feel she's been turned against me.
I know this has come from him but what can I do to stop it? I don't want to stop her seeing him as I want her to have a relationship with him but I do not want her to be poisoned against me and I feel it's cruel to ruin her pure little mind with his games.. she shouldn't feel torn between parents that are separated. I know if I speak to him about it he will deny all account and carry on doing/saying stuff about me to her.
Sorry for the long post

OP posts:
Seniorschoolmum · 25/10/2018 08:46

That’s a horrible thing for him to do. Sad I think you need to log all of those kind of comments. Don’t show that you are upset, don’t respond in any way. Your reaction, your distress is what he is trying to achieve.

To your dd, just carry on being the normal loving mum. Say firmly “that’s a silly thing to say. Mummy loves you more than anything else”, give her a kiss and move on. At two she doesn’t realise what she is saying.
As she gets older she will know who is always there for her, cooks her favourite tea, helps her with homework or looks after her when she is ill. Just stay calm, consistent and cheerful.

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