Ex introducing girlfriend to my kids

[catfeatures]

What is the acceptable procedure and would you put up with your ex not being around most of the time re 'work'. Only managing to have the kids 3 times in a.year then i find out he not only has girlfriend number 4/3/yrs (that i know about) but he has sneakily played happy families with her. No knowledge or consent from.me.but introduces her over a meal and they go for a walk and to her house!. How should i react?

I wouldnt give him a reaction. Sadly what he does on his time is up to him, a heads up would have been nice though! (but considering the amount of time he has had his dc you would have thought that he could of kept the two separate)

You mean the dad is introducing his girlfriend to his kids (rather than ex is introducing gf to MY kids)?

What dad does on his time is his business and you get no say. Just as he has no say in what you do. He doesn’t need your ‘consent’.

3 times a year . Unfortunately sounds like he has very little interest in your children so won’t consider what is in their best interests.

Politeness would suggest he should have talked you about it.
Legally he doesn't have to and you get no say.
This tells you where he is. My ExH did this 3 days after he left the house, I therefore felt no need to tell him about my new relationship nor when I introduced my partner to DD. ExH was so controlling he would have tried to tell me how wrong I was.

Thanks to those who have commented. I know he has a right to have a girlfriend and i cant comment on that but a) he causes so much conflict over not being around most of the time making excuse after excuse. b)The last 4 years he made no effort to parent them or be consistent or get to a point where he can have them with his own car and place. He wants to use mine which he then makes out it s me being a problem if i dont want him to telling the kids they cant go places/stay in because of me.
C)He wonders why im not happy when he turns up late if at all and also refuses to help with the immense amount of work he left me with on the house.
He is making excuses about work and then it always turns out there is a new girlfriend.
Then he finally has them for a weekend and does this which has made me feel so angry&cheated again after all the lies of working.
He does give maintenance but there is so much more to pay for and he takes away my capacity to.work more by not having his kids enough. When he does its meals out spending loads and the easy life. This was the last straw of underhanded behaviour by him. This is number 4 in 4 years. I dint want the children put through more change conflict and i said last time and he agreed it would be discussed and have to be long term before he introduced them. He has gone against me again and it feels like another kick in thr guts tbh.

Reading your update it sounds like you are chasing him to be the dad he isn’t.

If you have been separated 4 years and visits 3 times a year take the maintenance and let him chase to see the kids. You have enough to do.

You are just tying yourself up in knots waiting for him. Don’t have him in your house it is your home

Starlight345 he will sometimes 'help' the odd Sun pm on a weekend he is supposed to have had them. But he is extremely adhoc and controlling. Abusing his power almost to his right to a free life and turn up if he wants to. He will eventually turn up for birthdays and Christmas but again on his terms and gone again. He has made sure he has put himself in a position where he cant have them properly but does just enough to fool them and others that he is doing 'something '. Its court next as i believe he has enjoyed the control for far too long. He has enjoyed making sure i have no life while he has it all. To think i spent 19 years,first loves and looked after his elderly mother with him for so many (15)years too.But yes your right i shouldnt be chasing any more except i am exhausted and its only him who can help.

How old are the children? My ex does this, have lost count of the number of girlfriends ds has been introduced to but it is in double figures. Ds told him he was meeting too many girlfriends, he was 7 btw, has not made much difference but ds asked to reduce how often he sees ex and so now will not spend more than one night at a time with ex. It does suck but there is not much that can be done.
However your ex does not make you have no life, you have control over your own life, yes having the children makes it difficult but not impossible. My advice would be not to rely on your ex for anything and then he can not let you down.

Rickygold they were 5,5,7 when he left first off. Were 4 yrs on now but he runs hot and cold so i keep feeling the rug pulled from under me over and over. He can't be allowed to do this anymore.I can't afford babysitters at £24 a night for 3 hrs.