Surname debate

[mumofone100]

My ex never married me despite false promises.
Otherwise I would have never agreed to my daughter taking his surname when we did the birth certificate

Anyway now I hate that we have different surnames.

So question is to change hers double barrelled or to change mine double barrelled?

I like the idea of losing my surname as a journey in my life. I don't mention mine much but as she will be at school soon is it better to keep hers a single surname rather than double?
How is a barrelled surname perceived?

Has DC's father consented to child's change of name? All those with PR must consent, or a court order needs to be obtained.

So it might be that you do not have a choice, as you will only be able change your own name. But do you really want his as any part of yours?

Thank you, yes I'm aware that he would need to give consent.

We have touched on before during and after the relationship and he's definitely persuadable.

I just didn't want to push my corner if changing her surname isn't the best thing to do?

What are your opinions on double barrelled? I'd rather take the hit than her if it's a negative thing and just leave her name as is.

Or if positive then it's the fair thing to do

I suppose I don't want it to be obvious at school that she's from a broken home.

Is that what her surname will suggest if I double barrel?

Its 2018 - no one gives a crap if she's from a 'broken home'!!!

Yes, it will.

She will get picked on continuously op. I would go as far as to suggest that it will prevent her from progressing in and future career also, and that it will most definitely impact any future relationships as she constantly relates back to being from a broken home.

Nice try op. Move on.

I also struggle with this OP as it is now normal for unmarried parents to rent-a-hyphen. My son has his dad's last name which is different from mine which I hate but I also don't like the double barrelling.

A third of my Dc’s Primary school class had hyphenated surnames. It is entirely normal, and actually as more and more women decline to change their names on marriage (and men have not taken up the option to change to their wive’s names) children of married parents also often have hyphenated names.

No way would I change my name to include that of an ex.

As you will be travelling etc with your child, it will make it a bit easier if your child has a surname that includes yours.

My kids have a hyphenated surname, they like it, that it comes from both parents.

@TeachesOfPeaches yes it's a tough one isn't it.
As we may not judge but others could.
If I could help her stay away from that judgement just a little then I will.

Barrelled surnames used to be posh, I don't know....are they now?
Unless we both go double barrelled? Me and my daughter rather than one of us!? Erghhh

If I was married and had got divorced I would have just kept his surname.
It's a family name isn't it and she is my favourite family member!

Oh, god, missed the broken home thing.

But ‘rent a hyphen ‘ is pretty sarky....
And kind of underlines the OP’s point, that there are judgey people with 1950s lifestyles out there

Thank you @VenusInSpurs

It's good to know it's popular at schools, it's nice to understand what the U.K. thinks of it.

I'm not saying it does look like you are from a broken home if you have a hyphenated surname, I thought it was posh.

Just wondered as I am now in that situation if double barrelled are labelled anything as I'm obviously now doing it as daughter will be from a broken home which I can't say I'm proud of.

Big decision to change hers or mine and want to get it right