What to tell my DS -Half sibling due from OW

[Lifeunexpected]

Hi everyone,

My ex H had a 2 yr affair and got the OW pregnant. I found out at the end of March. We have separated and my ex and the OW 'aren't together' but are 'working on things'......yes.....I know....the usual denial.

My ex H sees my DS once a week (sleeps over once a fortnight) and is beginning to be 'casually' introduced to the OW. They don't live together. Their baby is due at the end of November and having worked through (most of) my grief, I'm ready to do what's best for my DS. I need to tell my DS, in an age appropriate way, that he will have a half-sibling who will have a different Mummy. I'm wary, however, that my ex H and OW's relationship is likely to be on fragile ground, so it's difficult to know what to share. I'm desperate to get it right. I don't want to cause any confusion for my DS.

So, I'm looking for any recommendations for books, activities etc. that are appropriate for my 3 year old son to introduce him to the idea of 'different families', 'new baby' etc.

Any reflections from personal experiences would be really valuable to me. Thanks in advance!

I would begin now...casually mentioning "Anne is going to have a baby, it's going to be your brother or sister"

Field questions with vague answers...eg. "Will the new brother sleep in my room?"

"No...we'll see him when we can"

"Can I go on holidays with the new baby?"

"No but we can buy him a present for when he's born'

Children are very accepting and just take the situation for what it is OP.x

Our twitchy is a really nice book that deals with families coming in different shapes and sizes, but that none of that matters.

Talk to your ex. I think he should be the one telling your son, (with your input)
It shouldn't just be down to you to do your ex's dirty work for him.
But yes, keep it factual- your son has presumably digested the fact that your ex no longer lives with you, and is being gradually introduced, as you say, to his new partner.
In all honesty, at that age, his biggest concern will probably be "will the new baby steal my toys"

Thank you, @AjasLipstick Casually dropping it into conversation is hard when it feels so massive to me. But I'll try & not make it a 'big deal'....whilst giving him the facts. I'm hoping you're right about the accepting, as he's so young.

Thanks for the book recommendation, @Lonecatwithkitten I've already had a look and I'll be buying it

@BookMeOnTheSudExpress I know what you mean about my ex being the one to tell him. But I feel like I want to be the one. My plan is to talk to my ex, both come up with consistent language etc. and share it casually. Then my ex can reinforce it, when he's with my DS (and OW).

Any other suggestions would be appreciated.