Good things about being a lone parent...

[happysinglemum20]

Lone parent to a tiddler, in my twenties...

I don't wanna understate how hard it is for us lone parents. Its been an especially hard day today...but I thought I would cheer myself/ any others out there up by listing a few positives (for me)...

(I'm probably not putting any of this very well, I'm so tired!)

• Don't feel "boxed in" by relationship, I have a family, but feel free. So much of the future is unknown, in a good way.

• Don't feel (even subconsciously) rushed to find relationship before biological clock runs out - I already have a baby. (Another one one day would be a bonus, but not something I'm planning).

• I only have me and my baby to worry about. I clean, cook, sleep when I want...up to a point

• A partner would be a help, but also more domestic and emotional labour - like many women I put a lot into relationships.

• Feel a very special and close bond with my son - of course everyone feels this with their kids, but I feel more so now we on our own...

• My baby is sleeping next to me now and he's so lovely. No rush to get him sleeping in his own bed. Its just me and him, and we are doing all in our own time. And I'm so proud of us.

There's probably more, but I'm sleepy now :)

This is so sweet, has made me smile. X

It's fantastic that you are confident and happy to be you. That you don't need to be in a relationship to feel secure. That's an incredibly healthy place to be.

Aw op I love this! You’ve basically described my experience as well. Becoming a single parent terrified me and I fought against it to my own detriment. But now? I would find it very hard to let someone into mine and dd’s bubble I think. I’m having fun dating, but I love coming home to our little haven.

I totally agree with all of that. I wish I'd learnt that in my 20s too. Your head is well and truly screwed on.

If I want to eat the whole tub of Ben and Jerry's for dinner after my daughter goes to bed I can do it

I make the decisions I think are right and I don't have anyone to run them past.

I don't wash crusty man socks.

My daughter is doing very well at school, was pupil of the year, just got her silver trophy in ballet and is loving life. That to me is everything because I know I made the right decision in leaving her father. She's thriving in spite of him being as crap as he was.

I hijacked lol.

Love this, thank you for a lovely positive message to us single mums x

Thank you, OP.

It's been a transition to single parenthood, but I agree, there are so many merits to our little duo.

My ex is very present in my sons life, but I've been a single parent for all 13 years, and overall, yes, I'm content and proud of our life so far.

Happy you're happy, OP!

You get to make the decisions. No arguing over parenting styles.

You get to feel the achievement of overcoming massive challenges.

In future relationships, you don't feel compelled to stay, because you know you can do it on your own. You'll stay because you want to, not because you need to.

You will become SO empowered by this experience, it'll prepare you for future challenges.

@fraula @longwalk glad to hear your positives also!

Thanks guys

Love this thread.

I've had a tough experience being a single Mom, though I am sure its been easier than other. For me its been a time of extreme financial hardship, sadness, mental health battles, medical issues with my boy etc.

What makes me proud is here I still stand, going through it and just going for it. I fear doing this journey on my own but I look at my DS before me, always beaming with happiness, it honestly makes all the battles manageable.
I have always had a skill for picking shitty partners! God bless my DS for changing that. Now I wont stand for no ones shit. I am stable on my own for the benefit of my family. I have rebuilt our family unit into a happy one. I know I can get by on very very little, without my son feeling he is missing out.
My DS is now 4, and he has started sleeping in my bed because he wants to be close to Mommy. Whether that is right or wrong, I would rather share my bed with him who gives me the most precious fulfilling love by just being there, than a man who I feel I have pander to and work for his love.
I honestly love being a single Mom because of how pure the relationship is between me and my DS. You realise love is everything and if you have that, you have alot. Battles subside, things get better, as long as your relationship is paramount with your child everything else you can get through xx

Best ever post I read on here about this was 'no one shits in my toilet'

My dds are happy and secure. Their life is consistent and calm. They have everything they need.

I am 100% emotionally available.

Couldn't agree more with all of these!! Xxx

Yep that's my list!

My ds is now 14 and has been incredibly hard raising him as he's disabled.

However I've barely had the energy to think for myself at times let alone find it to discuss my opinions on things with a partner and then find energy to compromise if needs be.
I've always said even if I've made wrong decisions to his care and education at least I know it's my fault and I wasn't persuaded to that decision by someone else.

I've often wished I hadn't done it alone and it's been incredibly lonely at times but I can also see the advantages and the silver lining!

@happysinglemum20 been feeling a bit shitty today n this just cheered me up thank you 😊

What an inspirational post! Good on you your child is going to have such an awesome role model in life he/she is going to be able to do anything. My most postive thing is that even though I am running around like a headless chicken doing it all on my own. ..I am so much more relaxed and the kids have picked up on it too. Some days are tough but nowhere near as tough as when you are in an unhappy relationship. Go single mum's and dad's!

The best thing we have found this week is, although I have felt really really rough I cried with a heavy cold,

We have been getting home from work/school at 5pm, putting the electric blanket on, having a quick shower & quick dinner & being in bed by 6pm, watching t.v, talking, reading & cuddling.

No man around to ever question our routine.

We are up at 6am, & dont have to tiptoe around.

I love how close I am to Ds.

I tell him my way or no way . No playing me off against anyone.

We go on holiday together and do just what we want.

When Ds goes to bed I often go to bed and watch tv in bed alone .

We have our own special words.

I get all the credit for the amazing boy I am raising.

Proudest thing I have done in my life is raise my Ds.

I love my boy 💗💗💗💗

My remote control
My sofa
My big bed and duvet
My choice of dinner at night
My takeaway of choice
No sharing the ice cream
My children that I’m so proud of. They are amazing and my greatest achievement and brought up by me alone.