EA ex just requested 50/50 access

[Hullabalooo]

So after last year of barely having Dv and this year onw and eow EA ex just requested 50/50 contact via email.

Dc although young is very clear they dont want to go more than now and I certainly don't given the stressful state DC returns from his in and the unpleasant things he says.

Really stressed by this. What do I do? Can I just refuse this? It would completely screw up dc if they went more than currently. Do I need to seek legal advice?

Help! I'm actually shaking.

Respond, setting out all the sensible, child focused reasons why you don't agree. If he wants to pursue it he has to apply to court.

Thank you. They're all the same reasons I have set out countless times to him. Should i just say those again? Do I need a solicitor letter?

Will he win if he takes me to court?

I am so stressed!

Dear Ex,

I think its great you'd like to see DC more as you only managed to see them for a total of 8 days last year. Here are the dates you managed to fit them in:

Unfortunately after such a sporadic period of time together the DC are going to be quite wary of this so we will have to build some time in for you to get to know them again. Perhaps you could start by having a period where you manage to attend the dates we have already booked in?

I have a wedding to attend with a friend during half term so how about you have them on the following (inconvenient dates) and we will see how we go.

You don't need a Solicitors's letter, just a paper trail, so email everything.
He's very unlikely to be successful in making such a significant change to their care unless he has very good reason for it.

Thanks both. He's incredibly suave in his emails mostly.
Just horrible in real life. He's not stupid. Very good at getting what he wants and so very charming. He's very convincing and that's what I'm worried about.

If he's so horrible why did you have a child with him? Are you ever going to let him be a real dad or is he always going to be EOW dad?

What a helpful post. Not.

Practical stuff OP.
Were you married to him or is he on the BC. ?
If yes then let him go to court. The power is in your hands. You do nothing. It's all his to do.

If not on BC or not married then he has to jump through the additional hoop of applying for PR.

Say no. Do nothing.
Make him do it if the DCs aren't keen.
Be positive about there father if there is anything to be positive about.
But let him do the running. If he is that keen he will jump the hoops.
If he isn't then he will get what he deserves.

My DH was on the other side of this. Nothing would of stopped him . He was genuine.

Thanks @fontofallknowledge not married but he is on bc so does have pr.

If I do nothing though i can imagine a horrible tussle at school at some point.

tbh I have no idea how he would look after dc given that his work is hectic and when he's had dc he's put dc in holiday club etc. . Wondering if he's going to rope gf in to help.

Do don't seek legal advice?

And yes dc not keen to go more than existing arrangement. Dc very clear about that.

He w old are dc? There age will make a difference in how much they are listened to but absolutely make sure you document the children don’t want to increase contact.

Thanks. One. Dc is 5.

I keep a diary. Not sure what else to do in addition to that?

A friend has suggested just not responding.. is that a workable option?

I certainly would first request as I would only answer questions that I considered relevant with EA ex.