Parenting or babysitting

6 replies

Vincenza · 13/06/2007 16:10

Hello

I am a single working mother to a little boy of 4 (and have been one for the past 3yrs). My job is extremely stressful and challenging and I have very strict deadlines to meet once a month. My ex currently has my son every other weekend from Friday night to Sunday afternoon. I have started occasionally asking him to pick him up from childminder's in week (approx one evening every month for a couple of hours of his time) if I am really stretched. This will give me about an extra hour and then I have to drive all the way to his house to pick him up and back again which adds on another 45mins. My maintenance is pitiful which is why I am working. Yesterday I asked the Ex to pick him up to which he replied that he was sick of doing me 'FAVOURS'???? WTF. Surely this is called parenting. Plus he is now off duty for 3 weeks on the trot as he has weddings/ stag dos to attend to. What a w*nker.

Does anyone else get this or is my ex exceptional in his dickheadness???

OP posts:

BrothelSprouts · 13/06/2007 16:12

Of course it is parenting, and how annoying his attitude must be for you.
Maybe you need to formalise your arrangements a little more, so that he takes his responsibilities to his son more seriously?

mistressmiggins · 13/06/2007 20:02

unfortunately this does seem to be the attitude of SOME fathers

I am lucky that my parents are retired & live in same town as me. My ex lives 3 hr drive away - he moved to be nearer his work

agnesnitt · 14/06/2007 22:27

Sore point for me right now. Had a blazing row with my ex-partner about this a couple of weekends ago.

Hope you get some resolution and that your ex realises that he has responsibilities that go beyond the fun.

Agnes

Original poster

Vincenza · 15/06/2007 11:04

Thanks for your replies. I don't think my ex will ever realise that he has 'responsibilities that go beyond the fun'. The thing that enrages me the most is that a lot of the time I feel I should be grateful as he pays his paltry maintenance regularly and turns up when he should (don't ask for favours though!). I know a lot of men are a lot worse. If I ever see Fathers4Justice up a building in a spiderman suit again I will go up there and drag them down personally. Bob Geldof has a lot to answer for.

Rant over!

OP posts:

glitterfairy · 15/06/2007 11:15

My X doesnt pay maintenance at all unless it is dragged out of him and only once a year or so.

As for the babysitting that is precisely his attitude. He asks me to provide every little thing when they go over such as dvds to keep them occupied or changes of clothes if he takes them for a walk or swimming. He even sends lists home with the kids of what he wants them to wear. I have now said if he wants to do these things he needs to provide them.

Yet he still goes on about his parental responsibility and turns up to see their teachers going on how about how important school trips are wihtout actually paying for them.

I will join you in the campaign against fathers dressed up in silly suits by the way.

claire2510 · 15/06/2007 11:17

Hiya dont feel bound to him just as he pays maintainance. My sons father has never paid a penny and after 4 years of not having anything to do with us he now wants to be a daddy!! So just cos he pays you doesnt mean he has more of a right to treat you like this. Get some more regular times sorted and keep going....your doing a great job!!!!!

Flip