Feel like a failure

[3kidsnwingingit]

Iam divorced With 3 kids and feel so down lately, I feel like Iam failing my kids and just not good enough. I have limited finances so feel bad for that and because of depression my motivation is affected. Ex is good to them and has plenty money and patience due to not being main carer. I have had tough year money wise, job, on/off relationship etc, I go to bed so early Iam often in bed before the kids which makes me feel terrible and when they go to their dads I just drink to numb the guilt and loneliness, it's not a self pity thing I am actually starting to believe I am a shit mam, please no negative comments, Iam low enough xx

Are you seeking help for your depression? No negativity here, if you were a shit mum you wouldn’t be posting here because you wouldn’t care!

The drinking is worrying though, do you think you could speak to your GP?

You're not a failure! It's normal - I hope! - to feel like this. I'm a single mum (only 1 child rhough) and how you feel resonates with me.
I struggle to do anything productive when DD is at her Dad's because I am so worn out doing the main parenting role.
I'm trying to spend as much time as possible outdoors. Gardening, walking to the local shop, walking to visit friends.
Try to be kind to yourself and do something positive for YOU? x

I do take anti depressants and my gp is lovely, it's like a battle in my head with the depression making me feel like ive no purpose and then I try telling myself I do my best, sometimes I find the emotions that come with the immeasurable love you have for your children is unbearable. Thanks for your words of support xx

What residency arrangement do you have? Could your ex take them for more time (perhaps a majority of the time), while you get help and try to get back on your feet? I'm sure that's a difficult idea for you, but it sounds as though that might be in their best interests, for the time being at least. That would give you a chance to get help with your depression and what sound like alcohol issues.

I think it's pretty normal to go through stages of feeling crap and like nothing you do is good enough. It sounds like it hasn't been a great year for you in lots of ways.
I'm guessing you have teenagers which is always tough tough tough.

Keep working with your GP and this will pass. I know it sounds trite but getting outside and exercising really does help.

Thanks everyone, yes Been on anti depressants for few years now they do help but lord this parenting thing is tough! I never drink alcohol when got kids tbh can't afford it, and manage to hide my low mood majority of the time and 'perform' as a mother. Thanks for kind words and best wishes to you all xx

How are you this eve?
I've just posted a post similar to yours
Mine I have the one child but feel very alone and sad. Can't shake it
Been trying to for months
Hope you are ok x

Hi rockstrarchick, Iam not good atm, I've had a terrible few years but recently out of an emotionally/mentally abusive relationship, couldn't wear make up, no fb, lost friends but I'll be honest I loved him, Iam still struggling badly, every day is so hard. thank you for replying I hope you're feeling better too x

Ah thanks spaceraidersrock, I have had a lot going on last few year too with a divorce, job and money problems it's so hard, having 2 teens and a younger one is tough too, I hope things look up for you too, xx