How to explain an absent "father" to a 4 year old

[kezzy13]

Pretty much that really, stbxh raised my son as his own for nearly 4 years then left us in July and doesn't want anything more to do with ds.

How do I explain that to a 4 year old? His key worker at nursery today told me that he said "My daddy doesn't like me anymore"

What do I do?

I'd be interested to hear peoples thoughts too. My sons dad hasn't been around since he was 9 months old. No contact at all. For a long time he would simply say 'I've not got a daddy. My Mommy is my daddy too'.
Then the other week when he started school he said to me 'Mommy why doesnt my daddy want me? Does my Dad want to work and not be with me? Is that what he wants to do more?
It floored me. He actually caught me crying and he said he was sorry, and asked if he had left me and our dog too. I just reassured him of the people in his life who love him more than anything and that when he grows up he will learn that you cannot make anyone do something they don't want to and that he doesn't need anyone in his life who doesn't see how amazing he is.
I have every intention of telling him and being honest when he is older but 4 is just too young to learn his dad didn't want to be in his life. But his questions do upset me as I don't feel a child should be put in the position to have to ask.
I hope your little one is OK. And I am keen to know how others would explain x

My kids havent seen there dad in almost a year. they never ask about him or any questions.

My ds's dad has never so much as acknowledged him .. ds now 7.. I have always dreaded the day when he asks about his dad.. so far he hasn't! I will not force the subject on him & will wait until he does.. although I have no idea how to explain it in a way in which will not be upsetting. Friends have suggested similar track to "it doesn't matter who is not in your life it's the ones that are that matter most because we all love you"... but I doubt very much that will suffice once he's older.

Ds has on occasion mentioned things such as "we don't need a dad" or we don't have a dad".. I've just replied well I'm good enough to be a mum & dad.. & he's not delved further.. he did also say a few times "well I'll be our families dad soon & look after us" which is cute.. it is a worry that pops in my head from time to time, I just hope he accepts it & doesn't take it personally because he truly is an amazing child & his dad is missing out big time

I think ultimately this is one of those be honest as you can but age appropriate.

My Ds didn’t see his dad from 3. As he got older he asked more questions 4/5 seems to be the point children seem to become more aware other people have mums and dads.

I never said daddy loves you in his own way that felt wrong to me. I just said I don’t see daddy so don’t know what he feels.