Hi all
I need some advice on how to handle my mother. She and my dad live 10 mins away. I am a single mother by choice of 6 yr old twins - we moved two years ago to be closer to my parents who we didn't see enough. My mum used to pop in every weds evening to see the kids which stopped about a year ago so we don't see my parents nearly as much as I would have expected given their closeness.
The last 3 weeks have been really stressful since we got back from holiday - my new au pair arrived and I quickly realised her driving skills were not good enough to safely leave my kids in her care; as a result I have had to work at home every day to do the school run (I usually work in London twice a week). I've been taking her out daily and basically giving her driving lessons - time consuming and very stressful given how poor she is. She is being assessed tomorrow by an instructor but its looking like she will have to return to Belgium and I will need to find a replacement which might take a while. Meantime I am juggling full time work. In addition my car broke down at the weekend which impacted our plans on Saturday and added to my stress.
This week my mother sent a few texts to me asking if I was ok to which I replied not really! Yesterday she emailed me inviting us for lunch this weekend as she wants to see the twins - I have declined as I just want to hibernate with the kids this weekend and catch up. She followed up with an email today asking when can she see the kids. I haven't yet replied.
Reason - she hasn't once picked up the phone or popped in to see me to offer any help or support in three weeks. I absolutely have to be in London next Thursday and am trying to work out whether a school mum can help out with school run or whether I need to book a taxi to take the kids to school.
I feel really upset that she never rings to see how I am. Its like I don't exist as her daughter and her focus is my kids - her grandkids. I am exhausted with the stress of the last few weeks, and worried about finding another au pair quickly if this one's driving is deemed unsafe. A supportive call would have been welcomed, and may be an offer of help knowing how tough things are right now for me. I don't dare ask for help (eg for her to come and take the kids to school) as I usually get it thrown back at me (it was my choice to have kids alone, therefore get told deal to with things and that they (my parents) are not there to pick up the pieces)
Am I expecting too much? Sorry to moan but I think my exhaustion is affecting how emotional I am! Grateful for any objective advice. thank you x