Sharing Christmas Day with non resident

[Jssum12]

So me and my ex have been apart since I was pregnant, he sees his daughter one night a week on a ‘sort’ of rota that does change to suit him he basically has her when I’m working so I don’t really get a break and has 2 months a year where with work he’s away he can’t have her any weekends. My dd is 20 months old spent last Christmas eve with me and then goes to dad Christmas afternoon and night. Now dad wants to have her Christmas Eve and it be alternate which I’m not happy with as she lives with me and think him having her Christmas Day is more than reasonable. Baring in mind she doesn’t have a bedroom or anything at his own place and most of the time he sleeps over his mums with her in the spare room. Now he’s thretened to stop paying child support and take me to court! Can he do that over Christmas Eve? It’s not like I’m stopping him having her Christmas at all!

I think you need to think carefully about whether it's worth the hassle of fighting with him for the sake of Christmas morning!

Surely he should be able to see her on Christmas morning every other year. I don't think that is unreasonable really.

The child support issue is separate and is him being an arse. But why should he miss out on Christmas Eve/morning wake up? Surely you could compromise and pick her up around lunch Christmas Day so you have all of then and Boxing Day. Surely it should be alternate years, it’s only fair

I think alternate is fair, it is what we do.

So he has her one night a week for 10 months of the year? I think if he sees her on Christmas Day every year he’s lucky as that’s way more than the custody arrangements for the rest of the year. Does he make the same request for New Year or Easter?

No so he has her her birthday evening, New Years he will definitely have plans! And then Easter he’s away with work every year basically

Are you child support/visits already court authorised? If not, let them decide what's reasonable (it's not him imo)

It's standard to alternate at Christmas in some way.

The courts don't care where your daughter sleeps when she's with him as long as she's cared for and safe so that's a non-argument.

He can't stop paying you over this. Contact and finances are separate. But he can go to court over this and win the right to have Christmas Eve through to Christmas Day morning every other year.

It's annoying that it tends to be the case that NRPs often want minority contact over normal days and weeks but equal contact on special dates like birthdays and Christmas and holidays but it's what they are usually granted.