What would the courts say?

[turtledown]

My DD’s Dad was rarely ever around and regularly told me to abort her because he wasn’t going to be there for me. He didn’t want her and since she was born has asked multiple times to be taken off the birth certificate. I’ve kept screenshots of these messages if the courts ever need to see them. He already has a young son who social services have been involved with for finding bruises on him.

DD’s Dad didn’t meet her until she was 2 months old and after then contact was sporadic as well as maintence payments. We mutually agreed on an amount and he gave me around £200 in total over several months. I did not receive any money for all the other stuff I had to buy like her cot set, clothes, pram etc. The contact ended after he was being unreliable and I’d just had enough basically. He hasn’t seen her for almost 2 years now and has not once attempted to make contact through a phone call or even a solicitor. She’s 3.

He is 32 and still lives at home with his parents with no room for his children. Him and his family are severe alcoholics and his house is a dirty, unsafe enviroment for a child. Whereas I am sober, rent my own house, run my own business and my parents are both in well earning managerial positions so my DD has 3 homes that are full to the brim of whatever she needs as both my parents remarried. She is surrounded by a normal loving family and has blossomed into an intelligent little girl since being at nursery. She is going to the only private school in our area and it is a very well known chain across the country. He will never be able to afford to help with payments for her upbringing, nursery or school as he has remained in the same part time job since his son was born. He’s not made any effort to get a better job. His son struggles with AS, ADHD and lack of speech at 5 due to his enviroment (confirmed by a doctor). I don’t want my DD’s life to go the same way.

Apologies for the long post but my question is if he applied for contact 2/3 years after not making any effort to see her, would the courts really let her be taken from a incredibly stable environment into a toxic one just because he’s her ‘Dad’? It would be extremely detrimental to her and she won’t remember him. She doesn’t know who he is

As shit as it may be, yes they would look to facilitate contact. From what I've seen on this, and other forums it can often be built up fairly quickly too.

It would maybe start as phone calls, progressing to supervised and eventually unsupervised. It would all depend on what was argued in court. It sounds like you can afford a good solicitor though so that would help

Anyway, unless it's actually happening I wouldn't stress too much about it. He sounds like a deadbeat dad so why would he waste time and money in court?

Yes, contact would still be considered despite a long absence.

ASD and ADHD isn't caused by a child's parents, by the way.

The doctors said his enviroment had contributed to them and essentially made it no better. If you don’t teach a child to talk or interact with them then they’re going to have speech and social issues. He doesn’t have custody of his son but has weekly contact and from what I’ve seen his RP home is no better hence his speech issues. The only reason he may ask for contact is for his mother’s sake as she was the one wanting contact but she’s just as bad as him. They all have criminal records and multiple domestic incidents have happened in their home recently where the police have had to attend.

Sorry for the long response! The only thing I can imagine they would award would be a contact centre due to him being an alcoholic with a recent criminal record who sometimes takes Class A’s. My DD would probably refuse to go in and see him anyway and you can’t force a child. I’ve just found out I can pay for him to be drug/alcohol tested if he ever did take court action so I don’t think it would get any further. Thank you for the replies, just going to do a bit more research on all of the processes