The tooth fairy. Have I been mean?

[twattymctwatterson]

Lone parent to DD 5. Her behaviour can be challenging and at times I don't feel equipped to handle it. Yesterday she lost her first tooth and was really excited about the tooth fairy visiting. However, when I went to pick her up from afterschool club last night she threw a tantrum and refused to leave. Told her she wouldn't be able to go to dance class if we didn't go now and she said she didn't want to go to dance class. In exasperation I stated that the tooth fairy wouldn't come if she didn't behave and of course she continued to kick off. So last night the tooth fairy didn't come. I made it clear before she went to bed but said we'd write an apology note and she might come tonight instead. DD was not overly upset and she's looking forward to writing her apology note. So basically I'm wondering if I did the wrong thing? Ex thinks I'm cruel. If anyone has any ideas how to get a really stubborn 5 year old to do what she's told I'd be grateful as I feel like a bit of a failure half the time

Well you followed through with your punishment so that’s good.

I don’t think what you did was cruel.

Is she a new reception child? Maybe after school club then dance class is too much for her and she’s knackered??

I wouldn’t personally use the tooth fairy as a way of getting her to behave. I think that’s a dangerous path to go.

In terms of her behavior, the reason Supernanny gets good results is because she emotionally detached from the tantrums. It’s hard but don’t let her wind you up. Just be firm, be consistent and don’t let her wind you up.

I'm in Scotland so we don't have reception. She's just started school but is 5.5. Agree that dance class on a Monday night after being in afterschool club is possibly too much but she doesn't want to leave. She'll move into the Tuesday class at the end of September (when I'm off) so it should be easier

You followed through which is what you should have done. You had to think on your feet and it's not always easy to detach and be cool when you are with a whiny kid. I think you did really well based on the circumstances. To be honest I am not a fan of the tooth fairy anyways!

I wouldn't of used the tooth fairy .

I always thought it is important to think before you threaten.. I always also find upping the anti never tends to work at the time.

I also want my child to know If he is punished it is by me.