Quick help on how to respond to latest message from ex?

[Melody1234]

Hi, I need your help on how to respond. My ex was very controlling and has continued to try to be controlling since we split a year ago. I try to keep the communications limited to the minimum required regarding LO, but even within that he is aggressive and pushy and I have to keep re-asserting my boundaries.

Today is my birthday, and I got this message:

"Happy Birthday Melody! I hope your best years are yet to come. Life and times move on, but the happy memories of times spent with you will remain permanently etched in my heart. Have a great day!!"

I know you may feel I'm over-reacting, but honestly, this message ruined my day. I didn't want to have to think about him today, let alone this ** about his heart and memories. How would you write back to say please don't send this stuff, just keep it limited to what we need to communicate regarding LO? I can't find the words...

I am with the unanimous ignore .

I also am in the you sent it camp .

Anything you say will be misinterpreted. The big thing I learnt with my ex is anything you say adds fuel to the fire . Ignore is much better

Wow, I am overwhelmed with all the support. And all the birthday messages (far more than I got from family and friends yesterday!). Thank you all so much.

Yes you are right. Ignoring would be best, but in the end I sent the message. Initially I was ignoring it because I didn't want it to have an impact on my birthday, but actually the day was already spoiled by this message and it even ended up causing an argument with my partner, so that idea was out the window. I haven't ever said in black and white to my ex that I want communication to be limited to coordinating LO, and I thought I should put it there as one final statement, so he has no excuse that he didn't know. With that in place, I won't feel I have to respond to anything from him that isn't important and related to LO. Thanks to those who recommended the grey rock technique, I will look into that.

Thanks again everybody, I really appreciate your support. xx

did your ex reply ?

You're nicer than me, I'd have done a fake group style text "too many messages to reply to individually but thanks for all the lovely well wishes and birthday thoughts.... I've had a blast!"

Lump his sentimental bullshit with the rest of the Hoi polloi 😎

So OP did your ex reply?

My ex does this but always at New Year! It's so frustrating. I don't want my New Year to start with a message from him.

Feel your pain.

I’d be inclined to answer ‘ Aw how very sweet of you. Many thanks having a wonderful day’
Kill him with kindness. Any negative response, or even no response shows he has bothered you