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Uniform

4 replies

Mumteedum · 04/09/2018 20:32

Those of you who are resident parents who do bulk of parenting and have child maintenance paid by ex, do you get any money for uniform costs beside usually monthly payment?

My ex pays the minimum amount through agreement which is written into court order from divorce. He is tight and always has been selfish with money. Bled me dry and spent 'His' money on prostitutes when we were married but that another story.

For the first time since ds started school three years ago, I asked if ex would pay half of costs. It was £100 plus this summer and I am skint from paying out for a summer of childcare and activities.

Ex paid half willingly to my pleasant surprise but has followed this 2 days later with a message to say I shop in sainsburys which isn't cheap, plus he's seen me on online dating which is a paid for site, so I shouldn't have to ask for him for money to clothe our child! I'm paraphrasing but it was less polite than that!

So aibu? Should I have included uniform costs in the money he gives me monthly? Confused

OP posts:
Whoknows11 · 04/09/2018 20:37

He sounds lovely!

My ex doesn’t help with any uniform costs. I’ve given up asking now as well!

It begrudges me butvim trying to not be so negative as it all has an impact somehow!

Hehx3 · 04/09/2018 21:07

No, uniforms should be separate unless he is really struggling money wise. I feel for you. You have been treated very badly and he should be ashamed especially for his attitude to children. You have all rights to stay on a dating site. Find love you deserve.

cantstandmenow · 04/09/2018 21:07

Yanbu. Not at all. What kind of man grudges his kids food from Sainsbury's so that he maximises his own spending money?! It's hardly Fortnum and Mason! However he can't be forced to give you extra, so that might be the last you see any.

What does he actually give you and what is his contact with the kids?

Mumteedum · 04/09/2018 21:37

I am not complaining exactly about the amount he gives me as I am well aware many men pay a hell of a lot less. He pays £250 a month which was based on earnings of around £35k. Know idea what he earns now. Sometimes he boasts he is loaded and has certainly spent a lot doing the house up. Was our marital home that he made us homeless from and wouldn't spend a penny on when we all lived there ... Again another story!

He sees ds every other weekend now for 2 nights. No overnights otherwise but does see him for couple hours after school midweek.

He does cut contact short often and tries to get out of having him in holidays unless he can go to his mother's.

I won't ask again. I made a mistake thinking his attitude had improved.

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