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Original poster

Child maintenance.

23 replies

Ellen7262 · 01/09/2018 17:39

I've been separated from my DD's father for nearly 2 years now and to begin with he gave me £10 a week (lol) but that stopped after about 2 months. I can survive perfectly well without child maintenance, but I do feel like he just at least contribute to a new pair of shoes for her occasionally even if he has nothing to do with her. She's 2.

How much does your ex pay? Do they pay at all? If so, do you solely spend it on the kids stuff or does it go towards household bills? If you don't mind me asking.

I want to know how much I should be suggesting. When we split he was on around £40k a year, and is still in the same job so is anywhere around the £44k mark now.

OP posts:
adviceonthepox · 01/09/2018 17:52

£10 a month and he's on over 40k? Get on to CMS he should be paying a lot more than that! More like £400 a month I think off the top of my head. How often does he have her overnight and does he have any other children?

adviceonthepox · 01/09/2018 17:52

£40 a month not £10 sorry

Original poster
Ellen7262 · 01/09/2018 17:58

@adviceonthepox £40 a month for a tragic 2 months as well! Not as if it has continued.

He never sees her. His currently pregnant girlfriend said it made her feel excluded from his life that he had a baby with another woman.

I think if he actually spent time with her I would be less inclined to seek maintenance, but if he isn't going to contribute his time then he can contribute his money instead. If he ends up paying I think I will just put it all in a savings account for her to have when she's older.

OP posts:
cantstandmenow · 01/09/2018 18:11

Wow. What an absolute disgrace of a man (and woman)!

adviceonthepox · 01/09/2018 18:30

Go for it! Can you imagine how much difference that would make to your and dds lives to have £400 a month more coming in. You owe this man nothing just get what your daughter deserves from him

RandomMess · 01/09/2018 18:30

Just go to CMS that money will give your DD a better quality of life and she deserves it. It also means that the fact your DD exists can't be ignored, be prepared that he may insist on paternity testing!

Original poster
Ellen7262 · 01/09/2018 19:09

@RandomMess I'm calling him tomorrow to suggest £200 and if he refuses we will go through the CMS and he can pay what is expected of him, my deal is off the table as soon as he refuses it

OP posts:
RandomMess · 01/09/2018 19:10

Good for you but I suspect he will mess you around in the future so you'll still have to go through CMS!

cantstandmenow · 01/09/2018 19:18

OP, why are you willing to accept almost half what your DD is due, when you and her owe this man NOTHING?

Add the true amount up over the next 16 years. Put that in savings if you don't need it, but that's a hefty sum to use as a house deposit when the times comes.

Or... You're doing ALL the work. Use that money for you both to have an amazing holiday each year.

Original poster
Ellen7262 · 02/09/2018 09:55

@cantstandmenow I rang him this morning and he refused, he'll be paying what he owes from now on! And I will be wanting it backdated. His DM (who I still have contact with) says he was promoted so it's looking like he's on more than £40k now as well. I'll set the ball rolling with the CMS this week!

OP posts:
RandomMess · 02/09/2018 11:10

What an arse!

Starlight345 · 02/09/2018 13:52

It won’t be backdated . It will only be from date you make a claim so phone tomorrow

HollyGoLoudly1 · 02/09/2018 14:42

Definitely go through CMS. He has a financial responsibility to the child regardless of whether you are managing without it or not. Sadly starlight is right - it can't be backdated. It will only be calculated from when you first raise the claim so make sure you do so asap.

HappyHedgehog247 · 02/09/2018 14:45

I don’t think CMS will backdate so call them as soon as you can. It’s your daughter’s right to be supported by her parents, whatever your own financial circumstances.

sprinklesandsauce · 02/09/2018 14:50

Contact CMS as soon as possible because they won't backdate it. If you think he won't pay you, then you can ask them to take it directly from his wages, they will charge him a further 20% on top for that. You lose 4% I think, but it is worth it if it gets you the money. You could get him assessed and hope that he pays it , only you can decide which way to go on that one.

Heismyopendoor · 02/09/2018 14:53

What an idiot. His new girlfriend doesn’t sound any better either.

Definitely go to CMS. Even if he had agreed, I bet he would have messed you about.

civicxx · 02/09/2018 15:08

My ex partner pays £220 a month for one child of whom which he has no contact. Our house hold is on around the 75k Mark & as much as we do not need the money I too don't see why he should be allowed to just not contribute because he shunned physical responsibility.

Through CM your ex would be asked to pay £400 a month, based on him earning 44k although when his baby is born this would decrease too £368.

Me & my ex used CSA for the first four years with a deductions from earnings attachment as we just couldn't speak to each other without absolute hell breaking loose & he couldn't be trusted. however we now have a family agreement so he just has a standing order into my bank but I do worry on months like this month when I know he's going away for 2 weeks that he'll just cancel it so he has more money for himself (he has never done this though & this is just me being probably a bit mean)

I would 100% chase some kind of payment for your daughter, £400 extra a month is a lot of money & will most defiantly improve quality of life.

If you think new partner may be a problem now then I would suggest a formal agreement through child maintenance options, as with a family agreement nobody will chase him for missed payments.

Hope this is of help xx

Faerie87 · 03/09/2018 15:40

I would use the CSM calculator, although I think £400 would be too high, as I thought the payment is based on the take home pay once tax and ni have been deducted? I could be wrong. Also you have to consider once your ex’s new partner has the baby the amount would be reduced again :-(

It will probably be something like £300? Which is still better than what you’re getting at the moment! I would send him a link to the calculator and ask him to work it out himself! He would be a bit daft not to, once he has done that then see if you can renegotiate!

civicxx · 04/09/2018 03:59

@Faerie87

The figures used in my post were taken from the CM calculator, it's before tax & insurance but after pension :) (I didn't deduct any for pension on the calculator so figures maybe around £30 out)

So maybe £370 at the moment & £330 when his child is born :)

Think he's done himself no favours there refusing the £200 as he'll 100% end up paying more, what a silly man.

@Ellen7262 did you call them? :)

civicxx · 11/09/2018 17:18

@Ellen7262

Any update with this OP? :)

Original poster
Ellen7262 · 11/09/2018 20:50

@civicxx he's agreed to £500 a month! CMS got in contact and he settled with me privately after that. When his pregnant gf gives birth in January it will drop to £400, but he will contribute separately towards things such as clothes and shoes. Result!

OP posts:
civicxx · 11/09/2018 21:21

@Ellen7262

That is amazing! Smile glad you got somewhere with it & didn't have a nasty drawn out CSA case! Well wishes to you both xxx

RandomMess · 11/09/2018 21:23

As soon as he skips the first payment go back to CMS and get direct payment set up. Really hope he doesn't mess you around though!

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