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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

He's not bothered

10 replies

sarahmumbles · 06/06/2007 12:54

Hello...
I havent written on here before and it'll be great to read others opinions on my situation. okay here goes...
im currently 32 wks gone and thought i had a great relationship until i woke up and gave myself a reality check.
I met my partner whilst he was married, yet separated but still living with his young son and his 'wife'. he was in the process of putting the flat up for sale and organising his application to join the police.
I fell pregnant, with him promising the world...within a few weeks moving, holidays money for baby things etc etc
But over the last few months problems came crawling outta the woodwork like the thousands of pounds of debt his 'wife' owed which he had to help pay off, turning down start dates with the police, problems with the sale of the flat, violent arguments between him and his 'wife'. gradually i was put further and further down his list of priorities to the extent of i havent seen him for a month or spoken to him for two weeks. a couple of text messages telling me "will get sorted - all for the greater good".
But now iv had it, iv sorted out buying the travel system, nappies etc, midwife apps on my own etc etc iv had enough. IM 23 and luckily have a supportive family yet money is a stretch. Does this sound familiar to anyone...?
Sorry for ranting on for so long just that its good to get it all out so that i can justify the decisions i will make.

OP posts:
tigerschick · 06/06/2007 12:58

I can't really offer you any advice I afraid but I didn't want you to go unanswered. I'm sure someone more helpful will come along very soon.

When are you due?

sarahmumbles · 06/06/2007 12:59

aw thats sweet of you thank you. end of july. a little boy.

OP posts:
ViciousSquirrelSpotter · 06/06/2007 13:02

Well I would dump him tbh.

He's obviously a shit. He started up an affair with you while he was married to another woman (at least I presume he was married, you've put "wife" in inverted commas, um, if she's married to him, she's his wife, there's no "" about it). Separated men don't generally live with their wives. Does she even know about you?

sarahmumbles · 06/06/2007 13:15

to be honest i dont know what he's ever said to be truthful...the only thing for sure is that he has a 2 yr old...which (your right no inverted coma's needed) his wife supposedly doesnt particularly care about. Im very dubious about anything he's told me is the truth right now. Im just dreading the day when i see him i.e how to react etc

OP posts:
TaylorsMummy · 06/06/2007 13:20

he's been lying to you.sorry but i can say,even without knowing the bloke,he's a bullshitter. get rid.

sarahmumbles · 06/06/2007 13:26

thankyou for your honest opinions...its what i need to hear. i really appreciate it.

OP posts:
TaylorsMummy · 06/06/2007 13:27

i'm not being nasty,i've been there.it's horrible but better to do it now than later when you feel even more vunerable.i should think his marriage is fine and he never had any intention of leaving his wife and child for you.harsh but true.you can do it on your own.

Tinkerbel5 · 06/06/2007 13:35

sarah he is stringing you along, I recon he is very much a 'husband', think its best you gear yourself up for lone parenthood and do everything yourself, dont wait around for him, good luck with your pregnancy and look afteryourself and your child

Creole · 06/06/2007 13:44

Yep, this sounds very familiar. Get rid of him and don't fall for any more lies, because he WILL come back.

Take care of yourself!

ViciousSquirrelSpotter · 06/06/2007 13:45

Sarah, even if he has told his wife about you (which I really doubt) if you can't trust him, then you can't build a relationship with him. Without trust, there's just nothing.

Do you work? Have you got maternity leave etc. sorted out? What about home? I think it does look like you're on your own on this one.

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