Reassurance please anyone?

[ZoeSusan]

Hi Guys 
^Basically, I wrote a thread the other day- as my ex was on his final chance to be civil in front of the children- he wanted to still do stuff together 'as a family' so Thursday evening I picked him up from work, took him fish and chips and we sat with the kids on the beach and ate tea. Then we went off to a local park to watch a show. While we were there he all of a sudden turned really angry and said I was pissing him off and he wanted to go. He then started calling me a fat ugly c**t in front of the children and also shouting. He has been given chance after chance to stop this behaviour in front of the children and he was warned after he apologised last time that this was his final chance. In my eyes he's blown it.
Yesterday I didn't hear from him at all and today he phoned to see if he could take the kids out. I said he could if he arranged for someone to come and collect them because I didn't want to see him. He said 'none of my family want anything to do with you' so I said, all they needed to do was collect the children, not have a conversation with me. This didn't happen. He then threatened me with the contact centre. About an hour ago he phoned me to see if he could come up for a coffee to see the kids. I said no because I don't want to see him. He said he doesn't particularly want to see me either. I thought about it, and because I felt like I was in the wrong- messaged him to say I will get the children ready in the pushchair and meet him outside with them if he wants to take them out. I have had no reply.
I don't know what to do. I don't want him sitting in my home as I don't think that is going to help me move on. I'm coming up with suggestions and they seem to be knocked back. Advice please anyone?^

Talking to you like that in front of your kids is abuse of both you and then. When you are small your parents are your whole world and to have your mummy shouted at like that will be very distressing. If you allow him to continue you are complicit in behaviour and you know that you and your children deserve better. He is trying to maintain control over you. Seek legal advise, document his behaviour, call women's aid or if necessary talk to your local police. You say he has "threatened" you with the contact centre. But why is this a threat? If he is abusing you the perhaps hangovers and visits should be supervised. I think you should call his bluff.

As he has spoken to you in such a disgusting manor in front of your children, I would not let him into my home again. Using a contact centre would prevent such abuse. I would tell him to arrange it.

• Handovers not hangovers

Firstly there is no need to do family stuff when you are not one family . For some who are friends it works but for most it doesn’t.

Secondly if he is using contact centre as a threat let him follow through.

Stop trying to please him . You won’t