When is it ever going to get better?

[Hullabalooo]

It's been nearly a year and a half since I left EA ex. I'm done in. It's been so unbearably awful during that time and doesn't seem like it's going to get any better.

He's convinced everyone that I'm a terrible person despite the fact that I do 90% of the parenting, still work full time and deal with his shit. He parties, earns loads more than I do and has just shacked up with his younger richer gf. Which then makes me look bitter.

I'm being blanked by people as a result and I haven't slept properly in over a year. I'm exhausted and utterly broken emotionally and mentally.

What do I do? I'm so worn out and so lonely. I feel like it's never going to get any better. I'm really on the edge and can't think straight about how to get out of this and put it behind me whilst still being a good parent and bringing in an income..I just can't stop crying.

Please someone tell me I won't always feel like this. I've had enough and can't go on like this.

Don't rise to his bait. Don't let him dictate contact pick up on his terms if it doesn't work for you ie have you neutral ground, parents house perhaps? If people blank you then they're the people you are better off not having around anyway. Children grow up and can choose/not choose to have contact if they want. He will not be linked to you in your life forever. Make sure you claim all CM your DC is entitled to. Don't worry about his finances, lifestyle, relationships beyond if it negatively impacts on your child, it's not worth the energy.

Thanks @flyingmonkeys it's so hard dealing with him but everyone thinks he's amazing. I feel like I've been hung out to dry trying to protect dc from it all and I am frazzled. Feel like it's never going to get any better.