Thoughts on what I should do with my situation?

[Mummy2Babba]

Hi everyone just looking on peoples thoughts and views about my decision making for this situation.

I’m a young single mother to a nearly 7 month old. My family live around a 100 mile drive away. I’m starting university next week and have a nursery place for my baby in place. My parents have now suggested that they would like to take my baby for my days at UNI rather than putting DC to nursery as baby is so young and although it will develop social and cognitive skills positively, the nurturing from family would be more appropriate. To me the pros outway the cons. If my car breaks down or if DC becomes sick then it means having to take days off etc.
I love my DC more than the world and already feel selfish for leaving baby so young to fulfill my own dreams but I know that it is in DC best interests in the long run. The plan is for to meet them half way the night before my timetable starts and collect him on the night it ends. 4 nights in total ( meeting halfway) . DC loves grandparents and extended family more than anything and is such a happy , good baby who sleeps well and has such a happy loving personality .
Just wanting other parents views on if this is being selfish or if it is a fair idea ?
I know it will be emotionally difficult but it also means as DC is with grandparents for my days studying , I will get all of my studying done on them nights and then my days with him will be just us time to spend quality time together and do fun, memorable things.

Thanks in advance ladies Xx

What? No! It's in your baby's interests to spend those nights with you. She'll love nursery.

It’s a very generous offer. However many people would manage fine in your situation.

I don’t think it will harm your child but it might harm your connection to him

You can always use GPs if she's not well or in an emergency.

Your parents want to have your baby with them 4 days a week? And nights?

you’re not selfish.

Give it a go. Sounds ideal in most ways. If it doesn’t work go down the nursery route. You will be able to change your mind of it doesn’t work.

Good luck.

3/4 nights would be the same as shared custody. Babies manage to bond in those situations.

I think you should keep your baby with you, see how it goes. 4 nights away from you is a very long my time. You always have them as a back up if your baby is ill, or during your exam time etc.

Do you have a gut feeling about it?

It seems like very kind offer, but you would effectively be giving up 50% of the custody of your baby.

Surely you don't want to do that?

does it have to be all or nothing? could you use the nursery 3 weeks a month and your parents one week a month? or similar?

Studying is hard, having a baby is hard. You will get more support by Grandparents watching baby. And as you say quality time the other 3 days.

There’s plenty of holidays as well when you’ll have the baby full time.

My gut feeling is I’m going to miss him loads but I also know how intense the course is and will just be a case of beating traffic to get home , dinner , Bath and then bed. I feel really pulled by it all and not sure what to do. The nursery places are scarce and I’m lucky to have one and if I give it up it’s unlikely il get one back .
Yes he will be with grandparents for the 3-4 nights per week . Just feel as though it’s a selfish decision but I also know I’m lucky to have this choice and support there, it’s only for one year . I am worried about loosing an emotional connection as we are very close and it has been just us two since day one but as I said the days that are just us would be only for us time and not UNI work or other distractione.
Thanks everyone for your replies xx

If it were me I'd want my dc in the nursery so she's close by and I'd see her every day. I'm not you though- you should do what's right for you.

As an aside, my dd went to nursery from 10 months (so I know older than yours) full time to begin with, and loved it from the start. The staff love her and treat her wonderfully. She learns so much and I'm really happy with how it worked out.

I think you should do a trial of a month or two with the nursery and see how it goes. Much easier to do it that way round than lose your nursery place.

For what it's worth I think you should go for it. Especially if it's only a year.

I think it's fine. I know someone who completed a masters and a PhD while her dd lived with grandparents full time. She grew up fine and happily. Loved by everyone. There is nothing wrong with your decision

Go for it I say. Especially if the baby’s father isn’t around. I’d snap my Dads hand off if he offered me that! (Single parent to DCs 10/8/2 - 2YO Dad isn’t around at all, never has been.) I’m also starting Uni in September having spent the last year at college with zero support and it’s bloody difficult to say the least.

I'd go for it. In the grand scheme of things it's such a short amount of time while making a better future for you and your child.

Do whichever you feel most comfortable doing. That's my honest response.

Could your mum and dad come to you for a couple of days and then your baby could go into nursery the other days?

Really appreciate everyone responses it means a lot Thankyou so much. I think I am just going to bite the bullet and go for it.
He will be loved by everyone dearly and although I think nursery is a fantastic idea aswell I am lucky to have the option there of my parents so I think for the year I will grab it and take the chance . Will just have to put my mind to the fact that it IS only temporary and for our both interests in the long run.
And yes holidays will be just us and weekends and days off so I’m sure it will work out and will deal with whatever comes at the time Xx

I am unable to do that as the childcare is paid by the university they have to be there full time or not at all so it’s really difficult otherwise i would of definetly went down that route. Especially as we start 12 your placement shifts come November so that is also an issue if he stays in nursery which only covers the care until 4pm . X

I have a baby similar age and I would MUCH prefer he be with family than in nursery.

But of luck with your course OP.