Do solicitors actually help or make things worse?

[Hullabalooo]

I left an EA ex (father of Dc) last year. The emotional abuse has got much worse since then and I've had support from DA charity as a result.

Ex is now saying he wants DC more and given how manipulative he is with DC and that DC doesn't want to go more than they do already, I think it's a terrible idea. He already has dc EOW and one night a week and about two weeks during summer. He also wants to go back into mediation even though it was a truly awful abusive experience when I did go.

My feeling is that I need to go to a solicitor about it now but am worried that this will backfire given that he is very credible and charming with a good job even though I've documented all the EA and there's a paper trail with different agencies. If i did this is there a chance it could completely backfire and he ends up having dc more? Has this happened to anyone? I'm really worried about damage to DC if he goes more.

Anyone?

It depends. Agreement is always better but if you can’t agree then they help.

Choose your solicitor carefully. Make sure they are in your corner and put your interests first. I used the one from CAB massive mistake.

Show your solicitor all the proof re EA it may be enough for legal aid.

Have you asked your ex what contact he wants? Is it reasonable? If you can’t agree between you let him take you to court.

My ex is intelligent, his meddling sister is a solicitor not in family law, his parents are rich. He still got a bollocking of the judge for being an arse in court. I believe eventually they show their true colours. I gave him everything he asked for - he still took me to court.

Thanks.

Ex is making noises about having him more which worries me given the impact in DC and their behaviour. I wonder if he'll take me to court and if as an incredibly charming person they'll believe him and given him 50% time with DC.

What's the current arrangement? Does he have capacity to look after them or is this just one of his ea threats?

I found a solicitor really helpful in getting what I wanted in the separation agreement and divorce. Mine was so good at wording stuff and I felt believed and supported. About to go back about contact as it's not been in the best interests of the child. I think if I stick to what's best for the child I'll get what's needed but it's hard to see straight when you have been under the coercive control of someone. I found a solicitor helped take away his control by dealing in facts and laws.

If I won the lottery I think I'd train in law and take on these cases free! It's soul destroying that escaping an abuser just means they have unsupervised access to the very children you sought to protect by leaving!!! 🤬