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Just the two of us

10 replies

BecandAva · 01/08/2018 20:34

To cut a long story short, myself and my little girls father where together 7 years before she was born, don’t get me wrong the relationship was awful, but when my daughter was a year old I found out via a phone call from a girl (he was in the same room at the time) that he had been cheating for four months which came as a massive shock (obviously) I was very hurt but determined that it wouldn’t affect my little girl or her having a dad.
Since the day I received that phone call he hasn’t made one attempt to see her and even his family has stopped seeing her as I wouldn’t let them take her out of my house, his mother is not the best role model and wasn’t consistent in seeing her, weeks would go by between contact, all I asked was that they where consistent so that she was completely comfortable before they could take her without me -they then made the decision not to see her at all.
My ex and his new partner are alcoholics and by what I hear are taking drugs so most people just say she is better off without him, but now she is 3 and is starting to mention about a dad I don’t know what to say.
Rather than ask to see her or even ask how she is he had her birthday present delivered by argos after no contact for over two years - which I was very annoyed about been as he couldn’t even turn up to hospital when she was seriously ill.

I am worried that this situation will have a massive affect on my LO growing up and don’t know what to do 😭

OP posts:
Fatjilly · 01/08/2018 23:20

It’s been just the two of us for 15 years and it’s been wonderful . We have the strongest bond, my bub is clever, kind, hardworking and completely bloody amazing. Asked about (asshole) dad around aged 4 then just accepted that this was normality. Families come in all shapes and sizes and kids understand that better than most adults.

ParkheadParadise · 01/08/2018 23:28

It was just dd1 and I from the very beginning. Looking back I loved that time, just the two of us.

It never affected her growing up.

heavandhell · 02/08/2018 08:12

Hi Bec I'm in a similar situation. My DD is 2.5 and is starting to notice other people's daddies. She even calls people on the tv daddy! If you want to talk I'm here.

MammyandAva · 02/08/2018 15:42

My little girl is in nursery and will often call random people dad and ask to go to her dads house even though she's never been! She's obviously picking it up from other children but it's hard as I'm not sure what my response should be at such a young age

wontgetfooledagaindude · 02/08/2018 16:04

You need to tell her the truth but in a child friendly way. I'll be honest and say mummy and daddy didn't get on and he lives far away, well 60 miles. Have you any photos of him?

MammyandAva · 02/08/2018 16:20

The fact that he lives around the corner from us and drives past my house constantly means I would unfortunately be lying to her.

I don't want her to think he doesn't want to see her because we didn't get on

It all boils down to the fact he's a waste of space ☹️

wontgetfooledagaindude · 02/08/2018 16:32

Tell her some people aren't ready to be a daddy. As she gets older she will realise what scum he is. Does he pay maintenance?

Starlight345 · 02/08/2018 22:53

My Ds hasn’t seen dad since he was 3 , he is now 11. I told my Ds I didn’t understand why as I couldn’t imagine not seeing him everyday . I have avoided the daddy loves you as I don’t want my Ds growing up thinking this is how you treat someone you love.

As he has got older he had been given more information as he has asked.

It sounds like avoid at all costs . Imagine 2 alcoholics looking after your dd.

I have an extremely close relationship with my Ds. I think that comes from been the 2 of us

MammyandAva · 07/08/2018 21:23

No Maintenance he works off the books so if I claimed I am likely to get around £5 a week I would rather him not have the satisfaction for saying he pays for her for that to be honest, I work full time to ensure she has everything.

She is definitely better off without him sometimes it's just hard when she asks for him

Jupiter9 · 10/08/2018 08:37

I wouldn't let that loser near your daughter. Good luck.

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