Absent parent plotting to book a holiday abroad without my consent or school

[RainbowBridge88]

My 12 yo age child has a very determined, somewhat bulldozer of a dad, manipulative and selfish to get what he wants at any cost, I have to be the most easy going, single parent and often he uses bully boy tactics. He does not know any different it has been his way for the 65 years he has been on this planet.

I hold my child's passport and birth certificate, he has said he would go and apply for a duplicate on both so he can take our girl out of school during the October term break for 2 weeks. One of which I disagree with and the school will for sure, he is also happy to pay the fine.

He has already rocked the boat at the school (1st year of 2ndry) and upset senior staff there, he had a valid point though at the time but he took it to the extreme.

Apart from locking my daughter up, what on earth can I do here, I feel powerless!

Fed up one.

Is he allowed to apply for copies?

Ken and Barbie - thanks, yes I guess - he does have parental responsibility - his name is on the birth certificate.

He can't get a duplicate passport - only the one allowed at a time unless he reports the current one as lost.
He will need you permission to sign the passport application
Although he can get a birth certificate.
You can make a note at the passport office that he can not take her abroad (someone with more experience can tell you more - but my friend has done this because he's lives abroad and she wouldn't bevel to trace them)

Does your daughter want to go?

I beleive both parents get fined so not just him

Green Tulips - Great points, I didn't realise both parents get fined and yes daughter does want to go though has been saying to a different destination as the one he is proposing she has just done. He wants to go then because it will save the wealthy man a few quid !

I’ve been on the other side of this (in a similar but not the same example), will tell you about it in case it helps.

My OH has 2 kids with his EW. He has a court ordered contact order which states the dad can take the kids on holiday.

6 months before, dad asked the mum if he counsel take the kids to see his parents for a week in Europe. Gave her the dates, times of flights etc he wanted to book. Detailed where the kids would be staying. Mum wrote to him agreeing.

Dad booked the holiday (this was 6 months in advance). At 11pm the night before pick up (at 6am to go to the airport). Mum wrote an email to dad and said they wouldn’t be going. No reason given apart from she had changed her mind.

My OH spoke to a solicitor. As dad with PR he could of gone to court and got a specific issues order. The mum would of had to explain her reasoning to a judge and he would decide if the kids would go on holiday. As he found out at 11pm and the flight was 8am next morning this wasn’t an option in his case.

He did take her to court and she got a stern talking to by a judge who threatened if she continued to without access to dad he would take the children off her and they wouof live with dad. Holidays are viewed as beneficial to children.

So he could take this to court.

How old is the child? Dads 65 and to be frank, my dad died in his early 70’s. Would she benefit from spending this time with her dad? Is this about you not wanting her to go, or what’s best for her? Just asking....

Thanks Northern Spirit, sorry to hear about that ordeal, very unfair on you guys and your dad.

Since the age of 6 my girl's dad has been taking her away so there is no problem from my side, its the lack of care and consideration for others that concerns me. He works within the education system and has all summer off, so surely he could look at the other options to suit all ?

He has also managed to upset the senior staff at her secondary school and the head and for sure his request will be denied and aggravate the current feeling the school have with us, due to his OTT ranting at them. I am trying to settle our daughter into the school, which is improving, though there are girls around her that want to bring her down.

I just generally feel requesting a holiday (theme park in Florida) during the October break could be avoided along with the flack and negativity its going to bring up. Just so he can save a few quid ?

But if a mixed message here

One he's a teacher (retired?) so should value education
2) Ictober is a great time for Florida weathers good and very few queues when we went
3) one extra week out of school shouldn't really harm her education
4) however he's upset school shouldn't impact their decision for her to leave - it's approved or it's not - if not they fine you both. Neither should have an adverse effect on your daughter

Are you concerned about friendship groups?

Yes, its the friendship relationship thing that is a bit of a struggle at the moment, our girl gets slated if she is off a day sick and accused of being a fake, so the idea of her coming back into class with that lot, after being away to theme parks etc, during school term time could spark more backlash for her ?

I did notice when we made a complaint earlier in the year to the school that some teachers began isolating our girl from her friends around that time and the head had pulled up a few teachers about the issue. One of them has now resigned.

The timing of this request feels inappropriate and perhaps ask at the end of the school Academic year may be the better choice overall ?

YANBU, and northernspirits comment about court is incorrect, court wouldn't order a holiday during school term for none exceptional circumstances, especially with one parent wanting the child in education during the time being requested.
I would tell him that he's welcome to take her for the half term week off, but that you want proof of flight dates being within the time off school before handing her passport over.

Contact the passport office and let them know her passport isn't lost or stolen and they aren't to issue one without contacting you.

Yep Bounce and Jump, I have thought if he does book something that I am present, he would do anything to have his own way.

There is good news, I contacted the Passport Office today and they confirm, that if I was the one who signed previous PP applications for daughter, that he would have to get my consent if applying for a new PP and that they would also contact me first if he was to declare daughter's PP lost/stolen to ask if that were to be true.

Yes your ex could go to court to ask for permission to take your dc away. Unlikely to be approved outside school holidays unless exceptional circumstances though, as pp has stated.

Equally you could go to court to request a prohibited steps order to STOP him taking the dc on holiday in term time.