Hi everyone,
I’m just looking for some advice. I had my DS in December ’16, I left my husband in January ’17 (3 weeks later) following months of controlling, emotionally abusive and financially controlling behaviour. The final straw was him taking a copy of my passport and threatening to take our son to Tunisia (where he’s from) to have him circumcised if I didn’t agree.
I went to my Dad’s house and spent the first 15 months of my son’s life there. My ex-H was constantly texting, calling, turning up at my dad’s or mum’s house, messaging my friends, threatening me, pretending to be ill etc etc. I got out a prohibited steps order to stop my ex from taking DS out of the country, the courts also ordered he can’t take DS from my care or anyone else to whom I’ve entrusted his care, can’t have him circumcised, can’t apply for travel documents etc. for him. At the time, all my friends and family and solicitor were telling me to take out a restraining order due to his constant bombarding of me and continued emotional abuse. I refused as I felt so guilty that I was already taking out these court orders on him (plus I was still brainwashed to a certain extent!), so I never did.
My ex sees our son for 1 hour a week, supervised. When he can be bothered.
I moved out on my own in April of this year. My ex-husband hasn’t bothered to turn up to the last 3 week’s visits for our son, but has started throwing his weight around with CAFCASS, who are involved due to the court case. They don’t have a great deal of involvement anymore and it will be ending soon. Anyway, my ex has now found out I’ve moved, and is demanding that CAFCASS tell him where I live, so he “can fill out forms to go to a contact centre”. I don’t think that this is true. I have evidence of all the domestic abuse I suffered, including evidence from the police and NHS. My question is, is it too late for me to apply for a restraining order now?
His incessant texting and calling has stopped (because I’ve blocked him), but now that I am on my own with my DS (I felt safe when I lived at my Dad’s as my ex was intimidated by him, although he never threatened him or anything, my ex just found it easier to bully a woman than a man!), I am worried. I am scared that he will turn up at my door or will try to get into my son’s nursery (they are aware of the situation so wouldn’t allow him to take my DS). I don’t think CAFCASS will give him my address but he could potentially find out where I live or work another way. I’m just really scared for my safety and of course that of my son. But I just don’t know whether it will be taken seriously in court as he hasn’t done anything in a few months, just thrown his weight around via email mainly.
Thanks for any advice!