How to tell exh I dont agree

[chewybacca]

Ds is 6. He wets the bed very very occasionally here.
ExH and I have 50/50 care.
He says ds has a problem and introduced a bed wetting alarm.

I take ds to the toilet when I go to bed( 11pm usually) ExH apparently does to, but earlier.
I can't get a clear picture of what happens at his house.
So the alarm was sent with ds today.
I thought to try as ExH has said all was going well and that continuity was key to the thing working.

Initially, on getting ready for bed ds was fine, showing me what to put where etc. But after 10 minutes in bed crying, shouting , saying he hates it, I went in.
Ds says he doesn't understand why he needs it in this house. It is annoying him and he doesn't like it.
I took it off and put him back to bed.
I don't think he needs it either.
One incident in 3 months is not a problem to me.

How do I tell ( Mr I'm right about everything) that the alarm is not needed here?
And how do I say it without pointing the problem straight at him? ( It probably is because he focuses on new baby,not my ds)

Once in three months shouldn’t be a problem to anyone. All your ex is doing is making a big thing of it and damaging your ds’s self confidence in the process.
I’d just explain that straight to your ex. Maybe it’s a boy thing. Maybe your ds needs you to tell his dad he hates it.
Your ex was being terribly male and trying to provide a physical fix for a problem, rather than making sure the problem ceases to exist. I don’t think he’s at fault, he’s just lacking a bit of empathy for your ds’ feelings.

The other possibility is that youR ds is wetting his bed much more often at his dad.... Hence why he sees that as an issue.

How did his dad got the alarm? Did he go to see your ds GP and were yu involved in the process of deciding what would be the best way to support your ds re bedwetting??

Ask your ex how he will feel at 70 if he gets a bit incontinent and his wife insists he has a bed wetting alarm. How humiliated would he be?

If you feel the need to tell him anything at all - personally I wouldn't bother - or if he raises it with you ("Ds said you're not using the alarm, why?) , then I would just tell him that as your son doesn't wet the bed in your house, it's not needed. Unless your son has expressed a real problem with using it at his Dad's, I'd let him get on with it and waste his money and time in his own house. If your son doesn't wet the bed, then it won't go off.

Thank you for the replies
ExH had a telephone consultation with a gp who advised using the alarm. I don't know if it was actually ds's gp.

No bed wetting here this week so I have sent it back to ExH and said that ds was upset using it so I took it off and that we have had no problems.

Very interesting that op says that it's a male 'fix it' thing rather than using empathy. That describes ExH very very well.

Thank you for confirming I'm not being unreasonable by not using it.

How often is he wetting the bed there? If it's regularly I'd be concerned as to why it's happening there and not at yours.

My 6yr old wets every now and again, up until last year it was every night so got said alarm....she slept through it whilst we could hear it downstairs! Decided she just wasn't ready but still lifted her at 11pm (elder dd toilet trained day and night at 2) now she gets herself up around 11/12 for toilet and has a rare accident.

My Ds used to wet the bed at that age . It was usually when he was very tired or ill. I don’t blame you sending it back