Some advice

[Mummyofone9120]

I am not a single parent but I am at the point where I think it would be better for my son if I move on with my life without his dad. I feel that in the long run it would be better for me and him as I am not the best mum I could be in this relationship.

I have been with my sons dad 5 years this month but I can't say they have been the best years, I feel it has drained me emotionally and physically. I still love him but I feel I can no longer be with someone who does not appreciate me and emotionally abuses me, the scary part is that he does not see he is doing it.

I have spoken to him numerous times about my feelings and the conversation always goes to him suggesting that I finishes with him or that I should have some self respect and just leave him if I'm
Not happy.

He had raised his hands to me in the past, last time was about 10 months ago. But I feel that we got passed that and for a while we were good, but he constantly lies and his priorities are questionable.

I am at the point where I can't even touch him physically and that sexual attraction has gone, if he doesn't get sex he tells me to fuck off or calls me a cunt, so I have recently just agreed to save any arguments.

The reason I'm still with him?

Well I moved to his home town 4 years ago and set my life here with him and my son, we have private rented a house together and my son is in a routine here. If I end things with his dad it means mine and my sons world is turned round, it's not just leaving my sons dad, it's moving back to my home town ( which is 3 hours away) moving back in with the parents till I find somewhere, my son not seeing his dads side of the family, and co parenting long distance, it's so hard to take that leap into the unknown and I am terrified. But I know I am not living my best life right now. I have no friends here and no one to talk to.

My question is, has anyone been in the same situation? Moving town? Breaking up and having to co parent long distance?

I'm so sad and know this can't go on

Thanks xxxx

Yes. I found my self with ds aged 2, ex bringing another woman into the house and belittling me at every turn, and me unable to get a job,
I didn’t have to move back to parents but I moved back to home town, got a job and the smallest grubbiest 1 bed flat imaginable, and worked my way back up from there.
It took a couple years to get it all sorted but everything is really good now, ds is happy & thriving.
If I’d stayed, I honestly think I’d either be on anti-depressants or two bottles of wine a day by now.
Ex comes to see ds every week. Things have settled down.
Please Don’t think staying for the sake of dc is the right thing to do. More than anything else, your ds needs a secure home, with a happy optimistic mum.

Similar, I moved over 100 miles away, didn’t know anyone and was a huge upheaval, I had to start again. That was about 4 years ago now and was the best decision I made. Your son is young enough that it won’t effect him as much as you think. As for co-parenting there was a lengthy court battle which ended with him not allowed to contact my son at all so can’t help with that