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Kids meeting a new partner

3 replies

Missfh · 15/07/2018 10:49

Hi looking for advice

Hi a year ago i left my husband after years of emotional and mental abuse he was always messaging other women throughout our relationship and a drinking problem, i left the relationship emotionally long before i decided to leave physically he has done many cruel things over this year taking children and refusing to bring them home so had to get residency order he has sent vile and threatening messages too throughout this time but i have always thought about our 2 children and the best interests of them the courts were happy to give him access too.
My question is i have met someone new and he is amazing so kind patient and genuine we have been together for 5 months and are feeling comfortable to introduce our children my problem is initially my ex was quite calm when i told him about my boyfriend then he started being rude about him and making comments about him without actually knowing a thing about him . I told my kids dad that we were thinking of introducing kids in holidays and now he is demanding that he meets my new partner which is fine but i have my concerns and feel he has a unterior motive and likes the fact he is controlling this situation and my chance to move on he has already told me he will sort divorce papers out if he meets my new boyfriend and was refusing too only a few weeks ago. My new boyfriend would meet him but after his behaviour towards me over the past few months he is very reluctant and feels like he is trying to bully us both into his ways and control our relationship so i also understand his feelings too regarding the situation im just wondering what others think do i wait until my ex meets him or have i done enough by telling him our intentions and introduce kids as we planned please no nasty comments

OP posts:
bottomofthefoodchain · 15/07/2018 11:18

There is absolutely no need for them to meet. Your partner is right. He is simply trying to exert control. Stand up to him and tell him you don’t need his blessing.

NorthernSpirit · 15/07/2018 12:29

Absolutely no need for them to meet.

What you do on your time and who you introduce the kids to is your business. Nothing to do with him.

Starlight345 · 15/07/2018 13:20

You need to learn to step back . Co parenting is obviously the ideal but that won’t happen when ex is abusive . I am assuming you have a contact order in place so no real need for conversation at all.
He will introduce any new partners when he wants to., when he wants to . He won’t follow advice you
What or what you do on your own time is none of his business

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