Back to work Full-Time?

[dm86]

I’ve recently become a single parent to 3 dc they are 10 and under. This means I have to return to work full-time. My youngest is 3 so will be entitled to free hours which I believe will be 30 hours once I’m back in employment.

I have been offered a role which is Monday to Friday 8:30-5:30pm and every other Saturday 8-12:30pm. The money is ok and it isn’t a role I’ve done before so something I might enjoy.

Do any other single parents do these sort of hours with 3 dc and how do you find it? My dc will have to go to both breakfast club and after-school club and will be in school from 8:15am-5:45pm. My stbxh will maybe have them every other weekend but he’s not committed to anything yet.

Am I daft to even consider this or is it doable? Is it fair on the children to be at school that amount of hours? I also do all the accounts and payroll for my in laws business which I would still be doing along side but it doesn’t pay enough to do full time. I need to be able to cover the bills and mortgage and the only way I see me being able to do this is from working full time.

I went back to work in similar circumstances with 2dc under 9 when my xDH and I split up. It can be done. They cope, as will you! Good luck x

I think the kids would probably cope okay, but you will be done in, OP! A more than full time job, a part time job, and 3 dc with a house to run!

I was a single parent working full time (plus 2/3 Saturday mornings) with a toddler and I lasted a year, before going to college. After that year I was really lucky to get another FT job, on my doorstep, and my ex was taking my son 2 nights per week. Until then it was hard going, and I did hate being away from son so much.

What about benefits and CM? I take my hat off to you considering it, but I hope there is another way for you all

Also, the after school care cost is one thing, but even with tax credits, the summer childminder costs were crippling at times. I was £212 a week, for one. How will you manage school holidays? Do you have support for that?

Full time is one thing, but this is more than full time work, plus more for your in laws on the side - I don't see how you'll keep going without a breakdown! Also agree with others that summer holiday care can be a killer.

If you have to take this job, it sounds like you are hard working and resourceful and find a way to make it happen - however I can't see it as a long term solution. As a start, could you wait to begin until after summer holidays? That would save you a lot in childcare and give you all time as a family before you move to your new full on schedule.

Once you start, if you do a great job is it the kind of role you could occasionally do from home? Or drop hours? Also, do you have any family who could do the occasional pickup or school holiday cover? All those little things make a big difference.

Good luck

Another thing to consider is a an au pair if you have the room? Much cheaper and convenient?

Yes, dm86, it can be done although hard work. I went back full time, single parent while renovating our house ( Plastering, painting, tiling in the evenings) I didn’t have three dcs though. I had one.
Small amounts of support will make all the difference, like someone to look after the dcs if they are off sick. Or someone to cover on inset days.
I swapped Saturday night babysitting for inset days.

Have you looked into part time work topped up with Tax Credits.
How many hours do you do for your in laws?

Thank you for all your replies. You’ve given me a lot to think about!

I would need to do about 10 hours ish a week for the in laws.With the exception of the payroll which would need done weekly I could do it on evenings or the weekend the kids will be with their dad. They don’t pay me a wage but I have a newish car that is paid through their business including insurance and tax etc so one less cost I have to think about.

I have no family here as I moved away. I don’t wish to move back as my kids are settled and happy. I have my brother in law who would help where he could but he works and isn’t that keen on children! I have friends but they work as well but could help out. My older step daughter would help out where she could. My mother in law is nearly 80 but could manage one if they were off school. Will tax credits not cover up to 75% of the childcare costs of the holidays if I average it out over the year or does it not work like that?

I don’t think I could manage on benefits and CM as we own the house I wouldn’t get any help towards the mortgage unless we move out into rented. Over half of the benefits and CM would go on the mortgage. We can’t sell the house due to financial reasons until next year so the stbxh is moving out in the meantime.

Child tax credit I would get a little less than what I’m currently getting but not much less. I couldn’t afford an au pair unfortunately nor do I have the room lol.

I think I can manage as I like being busy but I’m more feeling guilty for the kids really as they are used to me being around. My best friend has said they are good kids and will adjust no bother but I’m just concerned about them. They are already having to adjust to the idea of me and their dad separating although they don’t seem affected currently.

The new job role will not be starting for another 3/4weeks so I’d get through I portion of the summer holidays and then my mum is taking them away for one week so it would hopefully just be the last two weeks I’d need to worry about. But yes to put them into holiday club would be around £400-500 a week As my 3 year old would still be the full nursery cost due to his age. Would I get help towards that?

Sometimes I debate whether I should just stay with the ex and be miserable at least until the kids are older!

Finances are no reason to stay in an unhappy relationship. You deserve more than that.
As for worrying about the dcs coping with Afterschool club, my ds loved it. It gave him a chance to race around with others his own age, like a little tribe. He burnt off some energy and became a tiny bit Independant - and was proud of it.
Also, don’t be afraid to ask other mums for help. Lots of people have the same issues and welcome a bit of two-way backup. . Good luck