Shouldn't have bothered

[nextflightoutplease]

I’ve spent the best part of £2000 on what I thought would be a nice week away for my DS14 and I. We’re 5 days in and I just want to go home and send him to his dads. For the second time, his tone, his side eye, his mocking laughing at me, and general attitude has me with tears in my ears.

I know being a teenager, there’s always going to be tough days, but he’s just so negative and self absorbed. No nice photos together, a roll of the eye when I suggested going out for dinner a second night. We’re out today in the big town next to ours and he gave me the usual huff when I woke him, the tone when I told him how to open the balcony door, and suddenly developed a sore ankle and limp as soon as we stepped off the bus. Doesn’t want to do anything that he doesn’t want to do. I’ve suggested boat rides, bike hire, football on the beach, etc. Everything met with “no”. I thought for one day he could appreciate that this is my holiday too, that I’m a single parent, work full time and always put him first.

We’re sat in silence waiting on breakfast while I decide whether to just shell out a fortune on a taxi back to the hotel and let him get on with playing football.

Every where I look, at the hotel too, there’s happy families, laughing and playing together. We’ve played once in the pool and went to the water park.

I feel like this is our last holiday and it’s shit. I adore him, but I really don’t like him right now. Over the last while, I’ve realised just how cold and selfish he can be, and I don’t know how he’s ended up this way.

I don’t know why I’m posting. I know it’s stupid. He’s a kid and I’ve made it worse by snapping and telling him I’m sick of his negativity. Must be due my period. Just distracting myself from crying in front of him and venting here since it’s only him and I here and he really couldn’t care less.

Thanks and sorry.

How many days do you have left? You need to have a strong calm word with him. You to explain that he is hurting your feelings, that he isn’t giving you any respect and why would he want to hurt his mother like this. Don’t ask for a response, your just making a statement. Then explain you will be doing the activities you choose and if he behaves he can play football or use his phone. It sounds tough but it’s what I do when my ds forgets I’m his mum. It’s about respect.
If he acts like a child and doesn’t want to make an effort than you do your thing and ignore him.
When they act rude we try and fix it or baby then and most the time they can get worse.
Don’t repeat your self or say anymore afterwards, he will either be sorry or stubborn.
Also let me make it clear most the families you see having all this fun aren’t, so are but a lot have there own dramas. If you so me and my oh on holiday a few months back we look so happy around the ds but at the hotel at night we didn’t talk at all.
Good luck 😉

Thanks @GrayDays

After the silent breakfast, I just suggested we start the day again. I had already told him during my outburst that he almost had me crying in the restaurant the other night, but he plays dumb and always just replies with a question or a sneery laugh by defence - “what restaurant?” ....

Anyway, the rest of the day was okay. We just wandered around the shops, had lunch, etc, but did go back to our hotel early.

We both have to make changes though. I rarely spoil him with material items, but it has always been him and I, and I always go out of my way to make sure he gets to do what he wants with friends, etc. or work round things I can see he’s not happy about doing. He used to love going to his Grans, seeing family, and now it’s an absolute chore and he just makes it an awkward atmosphere. He couldn’t even be bothered to organise a Father’s Day gift for his dad until forced, we fell out over the same attitude when trying to get him organised for his SM’s first “official Mother’s Day”, won’t interact with his tiny cousins who adore him, that kind of selfishness. I don’t know how much of that is normal for his age, but I find it intolerable, and see nice kids managing all that stuff.

We have one more day left here, but he’ll be happy with what we’re doing.

Big changes when we get home though, I think.