Okay, I'll call it. What you are doing is swiftly moving towards abuse.
When you undermine the child's relationship with the other parent in the way that you are doing, it is called parental alienation. It is a serious issue, and it is a form of child abuse.
When you refuse to allow your child any autonomy or independence, you are putting your own needs above theirs. When you lean on your child to provide you with emotional support, and to be "everything" to you, you are expecting them to step into a role that no child should have to fill (or is equipped to fill).
Your behaviour is deeply problematic. You are quite deliberately creating a conflict of loyalties within your child - he will be fully aware of the attitude that you are taking to his father (even if you think you are avoiding it), and will face emotional conflict & turmoil when he does things that he knows don't fit with your view of how the world 'should' be. That is potentially very harmful to the child, and it is your fault.
I have no doubt that you love your son very much. But, right now, you are damaging him. If he is going to grow up to be a healthy, well-balanced adult, then you MUST learn to put his needs before your own - which is the opposite of what you're doing now. I seriously think you need some counselling. And you need to do some reading on topics including parental alienation, effective co-parenting, and encouraging resilience in children. A quick Google would give you lots of useful resources to engage with.
But I suspect you won't do that. Because nothing you have said is really about the best interests of your son. I feel for your son, and I feel for your ex. Please - try to do the right thing, and listen to what people are telling you here. Otherwise, your son is going to grow up with a lifetime of emotional baggage to resolve. And, frankly, if you keep going the way you are, there is a very good chance that at some point in the future, your son will choose to live with his Dad where he is not smothered like this.