Postpone first family court hearing without consent

[JoJo2106]

Hi,

I have my first court date next thursday the 28th in the family court. Me ex currently has had no contact with our 9 month old baby for around 2 months due to him trying to run off with DS and then assaulting me while he was holding baby. My solicitor advised me no contact until there's a court order in place for him to return ds to me. My solicitor is unfortunately on annual leave next week so cant represent me, but he will be back on the Friday. He has asked my exes solicitor if we could request to postpone the hearing just for 1 day so I can be represented the same as he will be and he has refused. He is also refusing interim contact to take place in a contact centre, I have suggested this to reintroduce ds back to my ex as he is only months old and won't have seen my ex for 3 months by that time, plus there is a risk he won't return him if he had him by himself. But he has refused this aswell. I am thinking of ds here and his interests but he just seems to be interested in his own needs and not even thinking or caring how it might affect our baby me just handing him over to him after 3 months of no contact. It needs to be done gradual, I would also like to request he goes on a parenting course to learn more about caring for ds as my ex is literally clueless and has fully admitted he wouldn't know how to feed him (as in food), he has never bathed him in his life and also brings him back in dirty nappies claiming he didn't know. He has never handled a baby before ours and we broke up when ds was 2 weeks old. Does anyone know if this may be ordered by a court that he attends one of these courses?

Does anyone has any idea if a court might possibly postpone the firsr hearing without my exes consent? Just as there has been domestic violence incidents and I will find it completely intimidating me attending court alone and him armed with a solicitor.

I’m not sure about prosponing court but if he refuses the contact centre then u should refuse contact all together if he’s that bothered about seeing DS then he should be doing everything to do so, not making life more difficult for u. It is safer for u & ur baby if it’s in a contact centre then there will be no need for contact between the pair of u which I would say was fair considering the violent nature of the relationship previously. Hope u r ok xxx

Hi, yeah he likes to make things as difficult as possible tbh. He's made my life hell for months. I ended the relationship as I was unhappy for a long time. Years really. He drinks quite a lot and that has always been an issue, also a 25 year cannabis habit which I think he has stopped since start of this year as I said I would get him drug tested in court. He drove a car with ds in it early hours of the morning after sat up drinking all night when ds was only days old. I ended the relationship I'd had enough an didn't want that life for ds. It was for his interests I ended it when I did. He has pushed and pushed ever since for far too much too soon an I tried to tell him it'll all come eventually as ds got older and if he learned to look after him properly, but he just won't have it. It's all about him an his rights he's not bothered whatsoever about ds's needs as a young baby. Me me me thats all i get.

I have a phone call appointment from cafcass on Monday so will be telling them also how he has refused the contact centre. I thought i was been pretty fair tbh as it was to gradually reintroduce ds to him rarher than just handing him over and ds might get distressed. As you say if he is that bothered he should be doing anything to see him. I just get demand after demand. You should see the list of demands I had from his solicitors letter, stuff going way into the future including handover times the lot. Ds is 9 months old and was only 7 months when the incident happened. This whole thing is about his rights and entitlement and ds doesn't even come into it. It's disgusting. He's one of those know it all personalities too so it's even more annoying cos only he is right

In my experience, albeit in Scotland, you can't postpone for a day in advance as it would mess about too much with the court diary. If you turn up unrepresented though, it's likely the court would grand a short postponement. Can your lawyer not send someone else from their firm?

Re contact, a judge will not look favourably on him refusing contact in a centre. Given the age of your baby and the length of time that has passed that will most likely what will be granted.

My solicitor is emailing the court tomorrow to ask about it been postponed. The court date is next Thursday so could it be possible do you think? My ex will also want me there with no representation so he would never have agreed any way. I will ask my solicitor tomorrow if he could send someone else.

Yes that's what I have thought too that a court may not look favourably on that as he should be putting ds's needs first not his own. I actually can't even believe he just expects me to hand him over after 3 months. He's a baby not an older child. But as I said this whole thing is about his rights an what he's entitled to. Well I am putting ds first over him so he will have to deal with whatever a judge decides. That will be hard for him as he is one of these know it all personalities so he is always right

There's no harm in asking. When I worked though, any of us could cover any hearing so unless your solicitor is a one man band I'm surprised he can't send someone in his place.