Dad don’t make contact with daughter

[Busylittlebebe]

My daughter aged 9 hasn’t heard off her dad for 4 months now no phone call or anything. She last seen him on her birthday in March. This is a regular accurace now she sees him 3 times a year a call every 3-4 months. I used to pester him Id ring and text asking him to ring more this time I haven’t. He’d say it’s awkward as it’s been left so long and will try harder never does, we live 2 hours drive away from him so don’t expect too much but a phone call a week and seeing her ever 3-4. I think is reasonable. I’m stuck at what to do my daughter don’t ask after him much and due to lack of communication is uncomfortable now with going to stay with him. I’ve explained to him if he rang more she’s want to see him more. I do loose my temper with him but I’m angry that he can forgot about her for so long. When do I stop pushing him? Am I right in not pestering him anymore? Should I stop all contact for her stability?
Opinions are welcome 😊

How does your daughter feel about his absence ?

She don’t seem too fussed she adores my husband but I am quite honest with her maybe to honest about him. But I don’t want her to think this is normal or that she’s not worthy of more which I feel she feels

You can’t make him into the dad you think he should be .

Does your dd ask ? My Ds knows enough but don’t tell him more than he needs to know . I don’t bring his dad up but answer his questions as honestly and age appropriately as I can .

I try and joke he only rings when his mom does so when she rings I’ll say to my daughter your dad will ring you soon as she laughs now as she knows why he rings. He says she will blame me when she’s older that I try to stop him seeing her that I feed her bad things about him yes I shout but only to tell him he should try harder

One thing I learnt was my ex had stopped listening in our marriage and why did I think he was going to listen now we are separated.

I think honesty is the way to go. Children understand more as they get older and she will see through any bullshit her father tries to spin. It sounds like you do all you can to facilitate contact but he just cannot be bothered. His loss in the end.