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Lone parents

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When he won't stop having kids

7 replies

haylz124 · 18/06/2018 17:21

I left my husband 7 years ago, we have 2 children a 9 and 10 year old.
I won't lie and I know all women say this about their exes but he is a waste of space. He began to disappear from the kids life around 5 years ago and fully vanished around 2 and a half years ago. The made peace with the fact their dad was gone and we are doing well.

My children were the first to be born he now has another three girls and a boy all to different women that I know about. It's me that's baring the brunt of this.

I don't claim maintenance as I'd rather never have to think of him again, plus i don't really need the money and he's on disability so I wouldn't get much but his exes come to me!
They aren't nice and they seem to get worse and worse but they message with hey I have your kids half brother/sister wanna meet up? I have contact with the boy, I don't speak to her she will message with a time and place in the park we won't sit together but the kids will play together and they know who he is.
My concern is, is some of these mothers are drug addicts or total lunatics and while I raise my kids well I can't be sure they do the same. He chooses weak single mums, moves in immediately, drains them financially then moves on and if having a child keeps him with a roof over his head longer so be it! Hell the first one was conceived a month before we broke up to my best friend and godmother of my children (Funnily enough she went MIA after the split). But in the future what happens when these kids start looking for answers? When they begin to hunt siblings down and my kids are forever plagued with this into adulthood. I try be as honest as possible with my kids we have a very transparent relationship so they know what he's like. Anyone else had issues like this? or have any advice on how to handle this?

Thankyou

OP posts:
Hannabee123 · 19/06/2018 07:47

He sounds extremely irresponsible. I don't know why you are taking on this burden? I don't mean this in a nasty way but the other children aren't your concern they are his doing. If you don't feel like meeting up with these women then don't. If they are drug addicts or unsavoury characters don't associate with them.

You don't have to take responsibility for his actions. Don't talk to these women and block them on wherever they try to contact you on.

Don't worry about the future for now. The other children might grow up and not be bothered. Just be honest when the time comes.

OompaLump · 19/06/2018 07:50

Weak single mums

Nice bit of stereotyping there. I hope you don't mean all single parents are weak and willing for any man to just move in and have kids straight away

haylz124 · 19/06/2018 08:01

“He chooses weak single mums” meaning drug addicts or ones that have had hard times. Could I stereotype single mothers like that when I am one? I’m on the line parent board which may give this away

OP posts:
RepealRepealRepeal · 19/06/2018 08:07

How do your DC feel? Do they want a relationship of any kind with these kids?

Hannabee123 · 19/06/2018 08:17

I don't think you are stereotyping op. I do see this alot though where women will look for any excuse to move a bloke in. I always think it's not right because I wouldnt like strange blokes around my daughter, it doesn't teach them healthy relationships.
If I was in your situation i would be getting on with my life and encouraging the other women to do the same

Starlight345 · 19/06/2018 17:36

I am afraid you need to decide what is best for the children .

My Ds has a half brother . He is aware of his existence but I have no plans to meet up as not kind of people I want my son associating with blood or not.

You need to decide the same for your children

haylz124 · 19/06/2018 23:13

My daughter wants a relationship with the oldest, my ex best friends daughter. However, there’s some serious selfie cover up their! Friends of both her and my husband both told me the kids his and she accidentally let it slip herself but I think she’s lied to everyone about him being the father. She’d had a few abortions and wasn’t well mentally from them

The others are DV victims and they have turned to drink or drugs which is ultimate prey for someone like him. (I’m not stereotyping DV victims before the keyboard warriors let loose, I am one too of a man convicted of beating me but I don’t drink myself into a coma every night for years later).
Maybe you’re right and I should just stop with the 1 we see the mother smells of stale alcohol and cig smoke and her teeth are black and from seeing the outside of her house (ripped curtains etc) the kids aren’t being raised in a stable environment

OP posts:
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